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Japan’s cybersecurity chief doesn’t use computers—which at least means he’s never been hacked?
Ah, another government at its most competent.
Japan’s head of cybersecurity just admitted a surprising secret: He’s never used a computer in his life.
Japanese politician Yoshitaka Sakurada serves as deputy chief of Japan’s cybersecurity strategy office. As minister for the upcoming Tokyo Olympics, Sakurada also leads the government’s efforts to protect the Olympics from hacking attempts and other technological vulnerabilities. Yet his role as deputy chief seems more administrative than anything else—as he told a fellow lawmaker in the Japanese House of Representatives, he simply doesn’t use computers. That’s his staff’s job.
“Since I was 25 years old and independent, I have instructed my staff and secretaries,” Sakurada told another politician on the House floor, according to Kyodo News. “I have never used a computer in my life.”
Sakurada went on to stress that cybersecurity is “a matter that should be dealt with by the government as a whole,” and that he’s “confident that I am not at fault.” That said, Sakurada had issues identifying whether USB drives were used in Japan’s nuclear power plants, leading to further concerns that Japan’s head of cybersecurity lacks the basic knowledge necessary to protect Japan during the upcoming Olympics.
Twitter users have another perspective on the matter. Perhaps Sakurada’s Luddite ways are the perfect cybersecurity measure. If you never use a computer, you can’t get hacked, right?
Alternative headline: Japan's minister in charge of cybersecurity has never been hacked.
— Tyler Flach (@tyler_flach) November 15, 2018
You can't get hacked if you don't use computers lol https://t.co/2QmnS9LYtD
— __________________________________________ (@ps1dr3x) November 15, 2018
Can't get hacked if you don't have a computer pic.twitter.com/lVz8sI8I9p
— Zoo With Roy (@zoowithroy) November 15, 2018
— Man's not Bishop TUTU (@Frank_Leigh) November 14, 2018
isn't that the BEST way to protect yourself from computers!?!?!? https://t.co/A4rkfm21Rb
— Maddie (@Sorenai_) November 14, 2018
— Yasumi 🐈 (@Animeazing) November 15, 2018
Sakurada seems to not have any first-hand experience for the job he was given, which is classic government bureaucracy for you. Twitter appreciates the Kafka-esque nonsense.
— … (@LeYawnJames) November 15, 2018
— Steve (@Grumpy_24) November 15, 2018
Dudes not logged on at all, but getting paid to be. Fucking living the dream
— trey! (@RosePrinceTrey) November 15, 2018
"Japan's cyber security minister admits never having used computer
A Japanese minister in charge of cyber security has provoked astonishment by admitting he has never used a computer in his professional life, and appearing confused by the concept of a USB drive."
— fox🌾 (@omgitsafox) November 15, 2018
— Garrett Oliver (@Goli8821) November 15, 2018
— Fujoshi's Island (@Dauragon) November 15, 2018
This is truly a banner day for the world's political class https://t.co/adlCajjnTn
— Keza MacDonald (@kezamacdonald) November 15, 2018
Sending my resume out to several jobs I have no business doing ASAP pic.twitter.com/0WJXVCQKyp
— SophieⓋ🏳️🌈 (@saywhatsophie) November 15, 2018
Politician not knowing what he’s doing… we know a lot about that
— Just Me (@azulgris27) November 15, 2018
Not that the U.S. federal government is any stranger to incompetency. HUD Sec. Ben Carson and his wife Candy Carson reportedly chose a $31,000 dining set for the department’s office, and Education Department Sec. Betsy DeVos knows very little about basic sexual assault statistics. A few Twitter users think Japan is taking a page from the Trump administration and putting politicians in charge of tasks they’ll surely botch.
Was he appointed by Trump? 🤣
— SouthernOmaEng (@SouthernOmaEng) November 15, 2018
Relax, it was a Trump staff recommendation and appointment…
— David (@DavidGreatLakes) November 15, 2018
WOW! It's like they are learning from the Americans!
— Jim Ashley (@Jim_Ashley1) November 15, 2018
It's okay, the US president has never had any political nor military experience
— Major (@MajorBlazer0223) November 15, 2018
In a related story, Trump appoints Nick Burns as head of U.S. cybersecurity!!! pic.twitter.com/mEdXXtIoYE
— Isabelo Rosado (@transitlegend) November 15, 2018
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At this rate, the Japanese government may just elect Donald Trump as prime minister in 2021. At least he could teach Sakurada a thing or two about Twitter.
H/T the Guardian
Ana Valens is an LGBTQ reporter and essayist for the Daily Dot. Her work has previously appeared in Bitch, the Establishment, Vice's Waypoint, Rolling Stone's Glixel, and the Toast. She lives in Brooklyn, New York.