‘Elf on the Shelf’ was creepy enough before someone gave it a gun

The Elf on the Shelf” is already the creepiest of all holiday traditions. Created in 2005 by Carol Aebersold, the elf originally came packaged with a children’s book explaining that the elf was there to spy on you and report back to Santa Claus. In fact, the book explains, children are not allowed to play with or even touch the elf. The elf is not a toy. The elf is there to watch. It’s even been suggested by serious academics that “The Elf on the Shelf” conditions children to accept surveillance by the government.

elf on the shelf book cover art via Coë Steinwart/Wikipedia

The cover of the original “Elf on the Shelf” book

As if all this wasn’t scary enough, now the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office in Florida has decided the little guy needs a gun.

And binoculars.

Okay so that little vest is kind of adorable, but that doesn’t mean that people didn’t find the whole thing to be creepy AF.

The Jacksonville Sheriff’s Twitter account is already known for being “humorous.” Whoever is running their account clearly considers themselves to be a bit of a comedian.

Happy holidays, everyone. Be good for goodness’ sake (and also because you’re being watched by a cold lifeless doll with unblinking eyes and a loaded gun).

David Britton

David Britton

David Britton is a writer and comedian based in Rhinebeck, New York who focuses on internet culture, memes, and viral news stories. He also writes for the Hard Times and is the creator of StoriesAboutWizards.com.