In the normal course of human events, one partakes of marijuana before getting the munchies and stuffing one’s face with greasy fast food, but someone at an Iowa McDonald’s recently struck upon the brilliant idea of combining the closely related vices.
That’s according to a pair of customers—a pregnant woman and her fiancé—who hit a drive-thru in the city of Ottumwa to buy cheeseburgers. They’ve alleged that in addition to the usual pickles, onions, and condiments, the meat patties were garnished with weed.
“I’ve seen a lot of stuff, but never something like this,” said Lt. Jason Bell of the Ottumwa Police Department, KCCI 8 News reported. “I really haven’t had a lot of investigations where I’ve focused so much on cheeseburgers.”
One McDonald’s employee was found to have drug paraphernalia but has not been charged with the class D felony committed.
In fact, the couple themselves are not above suspicion in this ongoing case. “We are exploring all possibilities at this point, and that factor is one thing we’re considering with the investigation,” Bell explained. “It’s more of a serious allegation against a business in the community.”
Bizarre as that all sounds, official procedure is even weirder: “A sample of the substance” thought to be pot was “sent to the Division of Criminal Investigation for analysis,” and the results of those tests “won’t be available for at least a month.”
Uh, you guys? Just smell it.