election map

Screengrab via @NateSilver538/Twitter

Makes you think.

As we continue to hurtle toward an election that could tear a hole in the fabric of political space-time as we know it, everyone is crunching the numbers and trying to predict exactly how it might go down. Or, in the case of data wonk Nate Silver, what would happen in purely hypothetical cases.

Wow! Crazy, illuminating stuff. Thankfully, both genders have the vote, so we needn’t overly concern ourselves with this sort of breakdown.

OK, well, sure, technically, but that doesn’t have any bearing on—

I don’t know if that’s actually—

Very cute, although we should be focusing on—

Oh come on.

I just… help…

No more. Please, no more.

This isn’t helping.

WE GET IT.

Let me die now.

Fine.

Sure.

I am genuinely upset.

Leave me alone, I beg of you.

THAT’S THE SAME MAP AS BEFORE.

Must… look… away…

Well, can’t dispute that one.

Honestly, how do we even know there’s a map under there?

Will give it a pass for the Simpsons reference.

Sounds… kind of lovely.

Right. Sure.

Fair enough.

Apology accepted.

Oh no. We’re getting meta now.

These are dark times indeed.

Ah, the sweet bliss of nuclear annihilation. All is well. But if you get the chance, don’t forget to vote. Or you may not like how the final map looks.

Miles Klee

Miles Klee

Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions,  and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'