5 easy steps for becoming an expert hacker

People everywhere are becoming increasingly afraid of hackers. China, RussiaNorth Korea, the kid across the street: They can come from anywhere. It’s time to arm yourself with the same expertise. Here’s how to start.

1) Decide what you want to hack. 

This is the most important step because if you hack something important or high-profile, the punishment could be very harsh. If this is your first hack, it would probably be best to aim for something small and work your way up.

2) Make sure you have the right tools for hacking. 

If you do not already own said tools, you can order them online or simply head to your local hardware store.

3) Make sure you’re doing it in complete privacy. 

Are you hacking and don’t want to get caught? The answer should always be yes. Do not hack in a Starbucks or public library—people will see you hacking and you will get arrested.

4) Make plans for what happens after the hack.

Are you going to destroy the evidence or take full responsibility by tweeting a picture of it? If you hacked something that wasn’t owned by you (i.e. something owned by either the state, a company, or a private citizen), it is smarter to remain silent. If you like jail, tweet away.

5) Hack. 

You are ready. Grab the ax (mentioned in step no. 2) and hack away. If you are hacking a branch, it should only take one or two swings. If you are hacking a log, it will only last as long as the width of the wood. If you are hacking a computer, the hack should go relatively quickly as computers are quite fragile.

Wasn’t that fun? You are now a hacker.

Photo via Alexandre Dulaunoy/Flickr (CC BY SA 2.0) 

E.A. Weiss

E.A. Weiss

E.A. Weiss is a former Senior Social Media Editor at the Daily Dot. Based in Vermont, he now works as the National Growth Editor at McClatchy.