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The point of a fidget spinner, it would seem, is to provide a mindless physical distraction. An object to manipulate while you’re doing other tasks or just spacing out. Of course, people went on to do things like adding them to butt-plugs and putting them on the heads of alligators, but that’s beside the point. The fidget spinner is, almost by definition, a physical phenomenon, at least until now.
Google, for some reason, has created a virtual fidget spinner, which is virtually the stupidest thing that’s ever happened on the Internet (okay, to be fair it’s not even close to the stupidest thing to happen on the Internet, but a bit of hyperbole is necessary to explain exactly how dumb this thing is).
It’s a picture of a fidget spinner, and when you click the word “SPIN,” it spins.
(That’s just a picture. Don’t try and spin it.)
Well, okay, not quite the end. You can also use your mouse to spin it like you would with a finger, and, a switch at the top lets you change the image from a fidget spinner to a number wheel, which could conceivably be useful in some context. You can even choose between two and twenty numbers, which could come in handy if you’re say playing Dungeons and Dragons and forgot to bring your dice.
The widget pops up whenever you do a Google search for “spinner” but oddly enough not when you do a search for “fidget spinner,” the logic of which is understood only by the masterminds at Google.
But perhaps the technology giant can be forgiven for this waste of digital space, or what might even be a parody of popular culture. After all, they are trying to help us all find jobs now.
And if one online video is any indication, it’s also a joy to play on the phone.
🙃WE. ARE. DOOMED.🙃 pic.twitter.com/4i7ENmpswd— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) June 14, 2017
David Britton is a writer and comedian based in Rhinebeck, New York who focuses on internet culture, memes, and viral news stories. He also writes for the Hard Times and is the creator of StoriesAboutWizards.com.