google fidget spinner closer

Screengrab via Google

Don’t have a fidget spinner? There’s an app for that

Googles new new virtual fidget spinner will help you do nothing with even less effort.

 

David Britton

Internet Culture

Published Jun 20, 2017   Updated May 23, 2021, 2:28 am CDT

The point of a fidget spinner, it would seem, is to provide a mindless physical distraction. An object to manipulate while you’re doing other tasks or just spacing out. Of course, people went on to do things like adding them to butt-plugs and putting them on the heads of alligators, but that’s beside the point. The fidget spinner is, almost by definition, a physical phenomenon, at least until now.

Google, for some reason, has created a virtual fidget spinner, which is virtually the stupidest thing that’s ever happened on the Internet (okay, to be fair it’s not even close to the stupidest thing to happen on the Internet, but a bit of hyperbole is necessary to explain exactly how dumb this thing is).

It’s a picture of a fidget spinner, and when you click the word “SPIN,” it spins.

google fidget spinner closer

(That’s just a picture. Don’t try and spin it.)

The end.

Well, okay, not quite the end. You can also use your mouse to spin it like you would with a finger, and, a switch at the top lets you change the image from a fidget spinner to a number wheel, which could conceivably be useful in some context. You can even choose between two and twenty numbers, which could come in handy if you’re say playing Dungeons and Dragons and forgot to bring your dice.

google number wheel

The widget pops up whenever you do a Google search for “spinner” but oddly enough not when you do a search for “fidget spinner,” the logic of which is understood only by the masterminds at Google.

But perhaps the technology giant can be forgiven for this waste of digital space, or what might even be a parody of popular culture. After all, they are trying to help us all find jobs now.

And if one online video is any indication, it’s also a joy to play on the phone.

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*First Published: Jun 20, 2017, 12:51 pm CDT