- How to stream Chelsea vs. Norwich City Friday 8:55 PM
- How to stream the 2019-20 Serie A season Friday 8:05 PM
- Tom Brady keeps supplying us with new meme material Friday 5:55 PM
- Emails reveal Facebook’s knowledge of Cambridge Analytica Friday 3:43 PM
- ‘Fast and Furious’ + ‘American Ninja Warrior’ = Netflix’s ‘Hyperdrive’ Friday 3:15 PM
- Trump jokes drop in Dow is because Seth Moulton dropped out of 2020 race Friday 3:13 PM
- What we learned when we visited Mr. B, America’s chonkiest cat Friday 1:46 PM
- Trump’s new plan to fight opioid overdose? This tweet Friday 1:06 PM
- Fitness influencer shamed for ‘sharing numbers’ in weight loss posts Friday 1:04 PM
- The VSCO Girl has always been here Friday 1:01 PM
- Tomi Lahren’s new ‘Freedom’ clothing line is made for meme mockery Friday 12:21 PM
- Taylor Swift’s ‘London Boy’ is a bop, but Brits don’t think her lyrics are accurate Friday 12:02 PM
- Popeyes blasted for employee welfare amid chicken sandwich war Friday 11:59 AM
- Cory Booker says nonbinary ‘niephew’ taught him about trans issues Friday 11:53 AM
- Megachurch pushes conversion therapy on Instagram, Facebook with #OnceGay Friday 11:11 AM
Let’s say you sent your family a bathroom selfie. No idea why you’d do something like that, but it’s done. Yeah, you said “on fleet” instead of “on fleek”—no big deal. Parents don’t know the difference.
Now, let’s further suppose that there are two vibrators in this photo.
What do you do now? You have a few options:
- Move on with your life because no one is going to notice.
- Preemptively text the fam about your sexual empowerment.
- Beg your sibling for help in executing a pretty desperate cover-up even though they’re just going to screengrab the whole thing for Internet strangers to laugh at.
You know what’s actually way more embarrassing than using sex toys? Intimating that you may want to see the latest Adam Sandler movie.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'