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Let’s say you sent your family a bathroom selfie. No idea why you’d do something like that, but it’s done. Yeah, you said “on fleet” instead of “on fleek”—no big deal. Parents don’t know the difference.
Now, let’s further suppose that there are two vibrators in this photo.
What do you do now? You have a few options:
- Move on with your life because no one is going to notice.
- Preemptively text the fam about your sexual empowerment.
- Beg your sibling for help in executing a pretty desperate cover-up even though they’re just going to screengrab the whole thing for Internet strangers to laugh at.
You know what’s actually way more embarrassing than using sex toys? Intimating that you may want to see the latest Adam Sandler movie.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'