Think you have girl problems?

Parody accounts mock privileged young women.


Jordan Valinsky

Internet Culture

Published Aug 2, 2011   Updated Dec 11, 2015, 1:23 am CST

The price of salads, a lack of top-shelf vodka, and vicious hangovers are some of the many “problems” girls on Twitter face on a daily basis. And thanks to a flurry of joke accounts about many of these earth-stopping challenges, we can now be alerted to them instantly, and with disturbing specificity—down to the daunting dilemmas of coeds on specific campuses. So, before the ice melts in our iced coffees, let’s go to this Daily Dotter’s favorite girl-problem Twitter accounts.

Sh!t Girls Say
Girl problems test girls’ emotions (“That breaks my heart”) and violate their comfort zones (“I’m hyperventilating”). This deadpan feed delivers some of the best phrases girls deploy to combat those situations. Heavily retweeted.
Favorite tweets: “Is that hummus?” and “I love getting real mail.”

GW Girl Problems
Who knew being white, rich, Jewish, and a student at George Washington University, the private DC school, could be so difficult? This humorous anonymous account encapsulates the inner monologue of a GWU girl and the daily predicaments she faces. She prefers US Weekly over Twilight, is an avid BlackBerry user, and devout eater of frozen yogurt. Tough life.
Favorite tweets: “Birthright is making me fly coach.” and “Me, a Republican? No! Tax and spend! Tax daddy, spend at Bergdorf.”

Drunk Girl Problems
Drinking and tweeting can be a dangerous combination, but this account makes it amusing. This anonymous account’s party-hard persona channels a drunk girl’s inner thoughts and affects of drinking, like missing Entourage. The account follows the two drunkest girls around: Chelsea Handler and Lindsay Lohan. No doubt as muses.
Favorite tweets: “Dr. Drew just came up under ‘Who to follow’” and “Reasons why I love summer: I get drunk quicker in the sun.”

White Girl Problems
The grandmother of the girls, or at least the one with the most problems, is this feed. Babe Walker is a fictitious woman who loves rehab, enjoys a guy with good hands, and gets the gays. (OK, it’s actually run by two brothers, but why ruin the illusion?) Follow along as our favorite white girl wonders why there’s truffle salt everywhere and uncovers what a Kindle is.
Favorite tweets: “This toothpaste tastes fattening” and “It’s just tempeh. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Photo by DoctorWho

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*First Published: Aug 2, 2011, 3:48 pm CDT