Giant gummy bear is no match for liquid nitrogen and shotgun

Shotgun Pointed at Gummy Bear

Sweet dreams, little buddy.

Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that someone gave you a five-pound gummy bear for Christmas. Let’s further suppose that you have no plans to gnaw on it for the next month, nor do you have access to a pack of feral children willing to tear it apart in a piranha-like frenzy.

Given these conditions, there’s just one suitable course of action: freeze the thing with liquid nitrogen and unload a 12-gauge shotgun into its corn-syrup heart. A few times. Trust us.

Watch out, oversize chocolate Easter bunnies—you’re next.

H/T Digg | Photo via carsandwater/YouTube

Miles Klee

Miles Klee

Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions,  and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'