The popular social game “fuck, marry, kill,” also known by other variations such as the much more polite “kiss, marry, kill,” has been around for decades. For the uninitiated—if that’s even possible—a person is given a choice of three people. They can be real people, fictional characters, friends, coworkers—or in some cases, even food or inanimate objects—and the player then must determine who they would choose to fuck, marry, or kill. It’s that simple!
Although the rules to the game are pretty fast and loose, a 2009 Wonkette piece states that if you choose to fuck the person, you can do so only once, and by choosing to marry, you can’t have sex with them—because obviously married people don’t boink. (“Otherwise, there would be such low stakes in choosing whether you would prefer to Fuck or Marry them. We have to preserve the stakes.”)
At any rate, it’s not hard to see why the popular (and somewhat cruel, by very nature) game has endured over the years, and now (or “again,” more likely) the fuck, marry, kill has made its way to Twitter. In this instance, however, many of the variations are rooted in pop culture—as you can see in the following examples, such as roles played by Jason Bateman and Kyle MacLachlan, other various popular TV and movie show characters, and so on.
And honestly, speaking of Kyle MacLachlan, what better use of the fuck, marry, kill game than to rank various boyfriends from Sex and the City?
Naturally, characters from Mad Men also got a few shout outs in the fuck, marry, kill game:
This example, “for lesbians only,” features characters played by Merritt Wever, star of the new HBO series Run:
And since we did mention food applications of the fuck, marry, kill, game, perhaps the most difficult choice of all…
We get the fuck and kill, but if you marry the pizza does that mean you have to live with it but can’t eat it? Chalk this up to quarantine thoughts…