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Man seeks to avoid holiday with father-in-law who s**ts on the carpet
If this guy is in your family, you’re f**ked.
If facing down the in-laws for the holidays is a test of our mettle, for this guy it’s a goddamn Olympic event. Last December, a redditor posting on the relationship advice board from the throwaway user account Fedup1223 took the time to describe how his wife’s father tends to act at seasonal gatherings, and it was… harrowing. Read this at your own peril:
Wow. That is extremely nasty. But you know, things could always be wo—
OK, I guess Bob is worse than we thought. Getting wasted and traumatizing kids is really, really wrong, in any context. But maybe he’s not all ba—
Hold up. Hold. Up. Bob shits on the floor? And tries to frame someone for it? How did you not lead with this? Whatever trouble a guy has with his father-in-law, it’s definitely not supposed to include that. Aggressively burping in your child’s face is uncalled for, but man oh man oh Jesus.
Fedup1223 went on to explain how his wife’s family tries to overlook Bob’s behavior and blame it all on his PTSD, and how he was getting guilted for wanting to stay home instead of seeing him. But we never found out if he was persuaded to share another holiday evening with Bob. Here in October, with Thanksgiving and Christmas just around the corner, spare a thought or prayer for this poor guy—just in case he’s in for another round of this.
Oh, and maybe tell your own father-in-law what a great guy he is.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'