Sanrio, the company behind Hello Kitty and My Melody, has brought us so many lovable characters. But have you ever considered stanning cuties like the Parisian Delicious Bradley? You’ve probably never even heard of the donut-ruining sheep Sunflower Boyfriend. Can you call yourself a true Sanrio fan if you don’t know who they are?
Relax, internet. There’s not actually a secret subset of weird Sanrio creations you’ve been sleeping on. But some totally hilarious creations by the New York-based artist Adam Ellis (@moby_dickhead) have been making the rounds.
Interestingly, Ellis is the same personality and former BuzzFeed staffer behind the “Dear David” ghost story that developed via Twitter.
So I funneled the Wikipedia entry for Sanrio into a Predictive Text AI to create new characters and drew whatever the algorithm spat out. Tag yourself, I'm Delicious Bradley. pic.twitter.com/QO6nPeXJ6f
— 𝔞𝔡𝔞𝔪 𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔦𝔰 (@moby_dickhead) July 24, 2018
Ellis’ newest creations aren’t sanctioned Sanrio mascots but are instead the result of when he fed Sanrio’s Wikipedia page to an artificially intelligent program and had it spit out some hilarious “ideas” for new characters. Inspired by the Verge’s Dami Lee, Ellis used the predictive text generator Voicebox from Botnik Studios to create descriptions and then drew representations of each one based on what he thought it might look like.
The results, as you may have already guessed, are legendary. First is Delicious Bradley, a cute mushroom who loves to wear a yellow scarf and collect buttons. His birthday, according to the AI, is “often,” and he was born in Paris. He also loves to munch down on shallots. This is one of Twitter’s favorite creations, and we all wish he were real.
I can't tell you how much I love Delicious Bradley & his frequent birthdays 💕✨ These are wonderful
— Sally Jane Thompson (@SallyThompson) July 24, 2018
I too would like a Delicious Bradley
— Kriii🍒 (@itsakurinut) July 23, 2018
i stan delicious bradley i want to snuggle a giant soft delicious bradley plush
— ryan 🌱 (@ryanbatesxoxo) July 22, 2018
Someone even made a plushie of Delicious Bradley in one of the quickest meme-to-plush toy turnarounds the internet has ever seen.
I'll just leave this here…. 😉 pic.twitter.com/oHlSI3IPGV
— AboveTheRow ☆ Like my Star Sign, It Be Cancer (@abovetherow) July 26, 2018
It’s not all about Delicious Bradley, though. There’s also Lala Sausages, a somewhat evil-looking little kitten with piercings and neon blue hair. According to her description, the “crime character” came to be along with a fictitious anime called Devil Children’s Ambassador, which made her popular with “large boys.” Bizarrely, the description ends with “She is gone.” Where is she now? What happened to Lala? Is someone on the case?
Other highlights include Rice Frog, who looks suspiciously like Sanrio mainstay Keroppi in a wig but is referred to as the “particular female.” A fan of the fake video game series Jewel Milk, she prefers to go by the name Mariah, thank you very much, and is “always thinking about discoveries.”
Sunflower Boyfriend is a purple sheep carrying around a shot of mayonnaise so he can ruin donuts at any time. He’s lonely, but who’d be friends with a donut-ruining sheep who works at a cafe? They sell donuts at a cafe, Sunflower Boyfriend. What are you doing? No wonder you don’t have friends.
This angry little rodent, Pippo Hamster, looks a lot like a chubby little cinnamon roll and aspires to become a “fashion expert in the early 1980s.” Looks like that ship has sailed. Unfortunately, Pippo is also “fake,” so she may simply be a figment of our imagination or is very two-faced. It’s unclear which.
Lastly, Claws Doll, the female demon, has a ton of eyes and wings made of candy. She loves eating teeth and lives with her mother. Okay then, Claws Doll. You do you.
So which totally-not-Sanrio-Sanrio-character do you most identify with? Honestly, every single one of them should enter mass production with goodies like notebooks, coin purses, plushies, and stationery sets. Just sayin’.