Every now and then, a piece of profound writing takes the internet by storm with its groundbreaking ideas, keen observations, and graceful prose. This is not one of those times.
An essay picked up steam on Twitter on Wednesday for none of those reasons, attracting mockery for being a petty and even concerning take on dating. Titled “You May Have Worn the Prom Dress With Him, But I Get to Wear the Wedding Dress,” the essay was perceived as a condescending (and insecure) open letter from writer Victoria Higgins to her fiancé’s ex-girlfriend.
Many people couldn’t even get past the first line of the essay, which hails high school as seemingly “the best time of your life” for high schoolers. The claim excludes the staggering number of people who had humiliating and/or horrendous high school experiences.
https://twitter.com/dumbandawful/status/981641225240481798
Could not get past first line of story: "High school seems like the best time of your life when you are in it."
— Delighted Old Cat Lady (@ANewAmy8) April 4, 2018
"High school seems like the best time of your life when you are in it."
— Katie Putz (@LadyPutz) April 4, 2018
lol nope
https://twitter.com/yaboyfacepaulm/status/981641113923653632
"High school seems like the best time of your life when you are in it."
— Dr. Charlotta Lofqvist, S.J. (@jon_snow_420) April 4, 2018
hmmmm……
No
But that’s just the beginning. Higgins, whose bio states that she’s a Missouri State University student, goes on to not-so-humbly brag about getting to marry her fiancé while managing to both patronize and envy the anonymous addressee.
“I wish I could say that I am sorry it didn’t work out for you, but I can’t,” Higgins writes. “I can’t because he is mine now, and I get to cherish him forever.”
It escalates.
“I hate that you got all of the high school stuff with him,” she writes. “You got to go to games and support him. It kills me that I couldn’t be there for him because I know I would have actually been there wholeheartedly.”
https://twitter.com/pardesoteric/status/981624736470900736
"sometimes I have issues with jealousy" lmao bitch you online thrashing his hs gf you never met for no damn reason https://t.co/QHEIWD98EK
— Sarah Everett (@goddammitsarah) April 4, 2018
On Twitter, people found Higgins’ language, and her insecurity, concerning. They worry the essay reveals a whole depth of issues that should be resolved before entering into marriage.
https://twitter.com/chesthairalert/status/981642641355018241
https://twitter.com/ajohnston12/status/981631075129679872
“I try to not get jealous of all of the things you got with him because it is all in the past. You had your time, and now I get the wedding.” pic.twitter.com/piAoXhgMny
— Erica Jordan (@TheNYCFilmChick) April 4, 2018
And while it’s true that Higgins may want to reflect on what her public gloat of “I get to wear the wedding dress” and sneering letter to her fiancé’s prom date might insinuate for the future of her relationship, some critics got carried away with the hysterical women trope.
https://twitter.com/NataliaAntonova/status/981615499330105346
You may have only worn the prom dress with him but at least you're not a total psycho who is having a one way competition with somebody you never met from your significant other's high school years. https://t.co/SrIyP1kdXV https://t.co/QuDxGLn08a
— W.G. Snuffy, Esq. 🇺🇸 (@iamthedriving) April 4, 2018
This is a specific kind of crazy and is more commonly known as a "red flag". If homeboy ignores the article and doesn't run, screaming away from the engagement, that's on him; she's letting you know that she ain't right.
— Sven Jorginsen (@Fatassery) April 5, 2018
But in a time when women should be supporting women and not publishing resentful, braggadocious essays about them, Higgins’ writing leaves much to be desired. Here’s to hoping that the public criticism encourages her to reflect on her clearly-not-under-control jealousy and consider couples therapy.
In the meantime, we’ll be waiting for the satirical takedowns—and the sequels.
https://twitter.com/ellaceron/status/981637402002378753
You May Get To Wear The Wedding Dress, But All The Night-Tide He Lies Down By My Side In My Sepulchre There By The Sea https://t.co/PkbsIVMKxO
— julia reinstein 🚡 (@juliareinstein) April 4, 2018
https://twitter.com/GCraftyCouture/status/981524563145129984
I feel like this could be a series:
— Black Sheep Firefighter (@BlackSheepFF) April 4, 2018
"He may have married you first, but I get him ect..",
"He may may gotten you pregnant first, but I ect…",
"He may have had kids and then gotten a vasectomy with you first, but I ect….."