This story contains sexually explicit material and may be NSFW.
Looking for a holiday gift for the recreational fishing enthusiast in your life? Well, look no further than the 2015 “Carponizer erotischer Karpfenkalender,” loosely translated as the Carponizer “Erotic Carp Calendar,” featuring a series of busty naked ladies posing suggestively next to your fave species of oily freshwater fish.
The Erotic Carp Calendar is the brainchild of Carponizer, a German company that sells camping equipment. (And also really ugly stainless steel rings and earrings, which appears to be Carponizer’s bizarre attempt at horizontal integration.)
This year’s calendar features a wide array of nubile female angling enthusiasts. You’ve got blondes. You’ve got brunettes. You’ve got blondes cupping the boobs of brunettes. The one thing that unites them all? A love for the small things in life, like going fishing on a sunny day with friends, and pressing their erect nipples against carp.
Although one might assume the Erotic Carp Calendar is catering to a pretty small niche of, I don’t know, boobie/angling enthusiasts, there seems to be a pretty large market for this type of product. The British camping gear company Total Fishing Gear, for instance, has also released a cheesecake fishing calendar featuring busty ladies posing suggestively with carp, and there’s also a “Beauty and the Bass” calendar that boasts “bass, boats, and babes.”
We don’t know whether Carponizer’s calendar is trying to cater to a little-known carp paraphilia, or if it’s intended as a bro-y nod to the (inaccurate) parallels drawn between fish and vaginal odor. But either way, we know what we’re getting our Daily Dot colleague Kevin Collier for Christmas this year.