Everyone on the internet is thirsty for ‘thicc’ Elastigirl

Going to see The Incredibles 2? You’re probably well aware that the PG-rated animated feature from Pixar is a family movie, or at least it’s meant to be. It’s the long-awaited sequel to a film that came out 14 years ago to a rash of praise from moviegoers and fans alike, and it’s considered one of the best Pixar movies.

You may also be aware that people are incredibly horny for the heroine of The Incredibles 2,  Elastigirl. Especially New Yorker film critic Anthony Lane.

Lane’s review has been the subject of ire and ridicule since it went live. It’s a treasure trove of awkward statements and cringe-inducing desires. It even implies in one oft-quoted section that some men are attending showings of the flick, seeing Elastigirl, and…getting erections…? Here’s one of the juiciest tidbits that’s been making the rounds:

Take your seat at any early-evening screening of “Incredibles 2” in the coming days, listen carefully, and you may just hear a shifty sound, as of parents squirming awkwardly beside their enraptured offspring. And why, kids? Because Mommy just leaned over to Daddy and whispered, “Is it just me, or does Mrs. Incredible kind of look like Anastasia in ‘Fifty Shades of Grey?’ You know, the girl in the Red Room, with the whips and all?” And Daddy just rested his cooling soda firmly in his lap and, like Mr. Incredible, tried very hard to think of algebra. As for how Daddy will react later on, during the scene in which Helen and the husky-voiced Evelyn unwind and simply talk, woman to woman, I hate to think, but watch out for flying popcorn.

https://twitter.com/mimbale/status/1009453047506964481

Bizarrely, the review is littered with references to sexual innuendo, which is strange given that it’s a professional film review written about a children’s movie. It appears Lane believes that parents around the world in movie theaters will be dealing with uncomfortable sexual tension every time Elastigirl is on-screen, which is just, well…a bit strange.

The Incredibles 2 fans have dragged him relentlessly for the review, and they’re still out for blood.

Uh, yeah. Same.

https://twitter.com/_bobbymilk/status/1009475830249082881

The review goes on to discuss Elastigirl’s suit being “as tight as a second skin” and extols her “waspish of waist” figure. He also seemed disappointed that Mr. and Mrs. Incredible fight crime in the children’s movie instead of retreating to have sex. In a kids’ movie. Rated PG. From Disney and Pixar, no less.

“I’m disappointed to report that the action in question is merely the manic pursuit of a gigantic drill that is whirring through a crowded city and demolishing everything in its path, rather than a lazy afternoon in the marital boudoir with the door discreetly shut,” he writes.

Uh, you do you, Anthony Lane.

To be fair, Lane isn’t the only one who appears to be lusting after the flick’s female protagonist, though. Everyone is thoroughly entranced with Elastigirl to some degree, it seems. Internet denizens have proclaimed the supermom “thicc” in her crime-fighting outfit, with her tiny waist and an unusually large derrière. And that’s fine, at least it’s outside the context of writing a review of a kids’ movie, right?

It looks like everyone wants a piece of this new animated sex symbol.

People are also seriously impressed by the fact that, since Elastigirl can shape her body into any form she desired, she’s making the conscious choice every day to walk around with a voluptuous figure. Hey, who wouldn’t?

Show us the lie, though.

https://twitter.com/Anti/status/1008155929832054784

The Incredibles 2 is in theaters now, so you can check out all the “thiccness” for yourself. We’re asking you nicely, though: Try not to be weird about it.