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“A perfect shirt for dog lovers!”
The caption is harmless enough. Promising, even. Any rational person would expect an adorable dog-themed T-shirt to follow—maybe not the kind you’d wear out of the house, or even buy, but an advertisement good for a quick “aw” before you scroll past.
Instead, there’s this.
Dick vs. dog T-shirt meme
♥️ A perfect shirt for Dog lovers!🛒Get it here➡️ https://rebrand.ly/t-shirt-lha165Posted by Awesome T-shirts Today on Friday, August 2, 2019
If you gazed upon this odd print and saw nothing more than a gentle hand reaching down to pat a good dog on the head, run. Close this page, find joy in your innocence, and savor the memory of a cartoon dog before it is sullied forever.
If you’re like the rest of us, unfortunately, what you saw is a flowered penis.
And now, is it a dog or a dick?
While the other examples brought the “fun” back into family arguments, this NSFW edition may not be so readily shared amongst young and old. Asking grandma whether she sees a reminder of her childhood pet or the moments leading up to a floral handjob may not make the best dinner conversation. Or maybe it will, no one knows your family but you.
But clearly seeing a gigantic dong rather than an adorable dog in the photo isn’t limited to just perverts and people who spend way too much time online. The Facebook comments section is absolutely lit up with shocked would-be-consumers who are like, really, really certain that’s not really a dog, you guys.
“Dog lovers? Or doggy style lovers?” one person joked.
Another opted to read an empowering message into the confusing photo: “She’s pushing the cock away. It’s a statement. You don’t need the D, to be all that you can be.”
There are a LOT of valid questions about this design, but that final comment really sums up the part that sticks out (ahem) the most: whether it’s a dog or a dick, why on earth is it floral??
We may never know.
But if you’re feeling gutsy, you can get your very own dick shirt for just $24.95. And if anyone takes offense at the image, just calmly point out that it’s obviously a dog. What kind of dirty mind would think otherwise?
Rachel Kiley is a writer who sometimes writes things and sometimes is based in L.A., but is definitely always on Twitter @rachelkiley.