Desperately thirsty dudes trolled into sexting weird food selfies

This article contains explicit content and is NSFW.

Right off the bat, we should clarify that combining sex and food totally works for certain people. Drizzling chocolate syrup or olive oil in the bedroom is an established erotic pastime; feeding your lover strawberries or mango is never a bad idea, assuming allergies aren’t a factor.

That said, if the stranger you’re sexting refuses to show themselves until you send a photo of yourself covered in ham, take a step back and evaluate your own proclivities. Indeed, ask yourself what you actually want out of life. Otherwise, as a young man now infamous on the r/cringepics subreddit discovered, you’ll discover that trolling takes a heavy toll on the desperate.

The only thing sadder than that string cheese resting on his thighs is the certainty that he ate it right after taking the photo.

But wait, there’s more! Brace yourself: These thirsty dudes will go to astounding lengths to satisfy any anonymous, maybe-female person they digitally encounter. From mustard to (alleged) shit, they’ll smear whatever you ask on their faces—and expect a sizable reward for it.

Truly, sexting has peaked with “egg butt.” Everyone else can stop trying.

Photo via 16:9clue/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

Miles Klee

Miles Klee

Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions,  and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'