One of the joys of early fatherhood is having the ability to dominate your children in any kind of hand-to-hand combat situation. You can mold a snowball as big as your son’s body and then throw it at him in a display of superiority, strength, and savagery.
Or you can sneak attack your kid with a turtle pillow while she’s running to her freedom in the next room.
Me? I like to wrestle with my young twins, power-bombing them on the bed and head-butting them into next week. And we’ve engaged in many pillow fights over the years, and I’m proud to say that I’m still undefeated.
But the dad in the video above? He fights unfairly. He takes two shots from the toddler while she babbles incoherently—admittedly, the dad took those body blows like a champ, so kudos for his pain-tolerance levels—but as soon as the kid runs away, the dad attacks from behind.
Sure, he’s a great shot—in the YouTube description, he says it’s “sniper-like precision,” and that’s not inaccurate—and by virtue of his ability to knock his child off her feet from 10 feet away, he’s obviously got a strong arm.
But in the future, let’s make this a fair fight. Attack from the front where the toddler opponent can see what’s coming. Any other strategy is simply the coward’s way out.