How will your relationship end?

Believe it or not, you probably know already. 

Internet Culture

Published Aug 16, 2013   Updated Jun 1, 2021, 8:58 am CDT

Beth Cook is a professional coach and writer. Want advice? Have advice? Send her an email.

There was a skit on a recent episode of Inside Amy Schumer, the hilarious new series on Comedy Central, that got me giggling and thinking, as much of her comedic genius about sex, dating and gender roles does.

The skit, titled “How Will This Relationship End?” is “the dating game show where two sexual women guess how their relationship with three eligible bachelors might end.”

Now I can’t help but think back to how painfully obvious it was that relationships I’ve had with certain guys would eventually end in a fiery ball of disappointment, resentment and poor-me-ness.

Really, Beth, you thought that the sneaky, moody party guy wasn’t an alcoholic? You thought the guy who was boring on date two would be better at date ten? That the guy who came on so strong wouldn’t disappear with a poof? That the guy who couldn’t decide what to order for dinner would eventually decide to commit to you?

It’s truly laughable.

Looking back, I could have predicted the demise of almost all of my relationships on date three. I’m not kidding. All of the information was there. The reason we weren’t going to work out. The reason I was going to dump them or they were going to dump me. Hindsight is 20/20, eh?

While I like giving people a fair shot, I think I might be giving guys (and myself) a football field of time to keep doing things that will ultimately render us incompatible. Sex is a distracting thing.

Rather, I should be checking in with myself on date number three to ask the question, “How will this relationship end?” and looking hard at the answer. Is it congruent with what I want in my life—a rare, uncut gem of a partner?

I’ll keep asking until I get my ‘yes.’ Perhaps you should try the same. You’ll know quickly when it’s right. And your Mr. or Ms. dreamboat will too.

Screengrab via Inside Amy Schumer

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*First Published: Aug 16, 2013, 12:29 pm CDT