As if we needed any further evidence that the spirit of Jackass is alive and well in 2020, meet TikTok user Colton Macaulay (@Coltyy). Earlier this month, “Colty” went viral after embarking on a self-described five-day mission to turn his urine blue by chugging food coloring.
“From what I’ve read online, by the fifth day the color of my pee will be blue,” Colty explained in the initial video, noting that he would be ingesting one vial of run-of-the-mill supermarket food coloring each day, and drinking nothing but water.
“In order for me to make the experiment work, I can’t drink any milk or juices for the next five days, only these and water,” he continued. And away we go!
Readers, I am both pleased and saddened to report that this endeavor proved to be successful—so much so that Colty is now on day ten of the experiment. And aside from his urine turning blue, the college student is experiencing other, uh, side effects from drinking blue food coloring.
By day eight—at which point TikTok added a disclaimer that “the action in this video could result in serious injury,” despite his constant assurances to the contrary—Colty’s urine had definitely turned blue, among other things.
“Number two, I don’t even want to say it because as I’ve said before, it’s kind of embarrassing, but here’s a hint, it’s a blue ball,” Colty alluded. “I’m sure you guys understand. Also another update on my skin, um, I don’t know if I’m tripping, but I think I’ve been turning blue. So it’s not just my arms and hands that are turning blue, it’s also my chest and the legs.”
“Here’s to turning into a Smurf for 2020,” he added before chugging his daily ration of food coloring.
If he doesn’t care about what’s happening on the inside of his body, at least Colty notes in several of the videos that he’s careful to brunch his teeth after each video, as his enamel would otherwise eventually be permanently stained.
By day ten, Colty provided a “quick rundown” of all of the side effects he’s experienced so far. In addition to his pee, poop, and skin turning blue—his face and hair are also following suit. For sure, his face definitely has an unhealthy-looking pallid to it. He also promised to post pictures of his urine to Instagram, although at the time of this writing he seemingly has yet to do so.
As an added bonus, this time Colty brought in his friend Logan, who will be joining him on the experiment, going forward, by drinking green food coloring.
What will become of Colty? And of Logan, for that matter? All we can do is stayed tuned, for what is undoubtedly about to become quite the wild ride. But please, for the love of everything holy, do not try this at home.