screen grab via cnn

CNN changes FMK to ‘Date, Marry, Make Vanish’

There are better ways to make FMK SFW.


David Britton

Internet Culture

Published Oct 28, 2015   Updated May 27, 2021, 5:51 pm CDT

In an attempt to make the “Fuck, Marry, Kill” game more palatable to a wider, more boring audience, CNN chief political correspondent Dana Bash sat in a bar in Boulder, Colorado, with Republican Senator and presidential hopeful Lindsey Graham and asked him which female politicians he would “date, marry, or make vanish.” 

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As you can see from the video, this is probably Graham’s first time playing the game, as he seems to assume he has to marry Hillary Clinton, Sarah Palin and Carly Fiorina.

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At least that’s what we assume he meant by “Do the mormon thing”.

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But if you’re gonna change a beloved bar game, at least put some thought into the new options.  We humbly suggest:

  • Give handjob, elope, kill with kindness
  • Dry hump, common law marry, slowly suck the life out of
  • Bugger, betroth, bump off
  • Sext, move in together, cut their brake cable
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Or if you live by yourself:

  • Masturbate, buy a cat, stick your head in the oven 

It even works on an international level.  The U.N. could spend a whole day playing:

  • Trade with, annex, bomb
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We already know that everyone’s gonna wanna trade with China.  They have the sexiest products.

Screengrab via CNN

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*First Published: Oct 28, 2015, 5:59 pm CDT