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As a matter of fact, it’s bad corporate policy to tweet to your 2 million followers about an HR matter. Imagine if you were struggling with your job and, after your company let you go, publicly detailed all your numerous fuck ups.
That’d be wrong, right? Well, apparently, the CIA doesn’t extend that courtesy to dogs.
The Central Intelligence Agency this week just up and tweeted about Lulu, the dog who couldn’t make it through explosive detection school, spending an entire day shitposting about her performance.
We’re sad to announce that a few weeks into training, Lulu began to show signs that she wasn’t interested in detecting explosive odors. pic.twitter.com/c6lxHPfC09— CIA (@CIA) October 18, 2017
All dogs, like humans, have good & bad days when learning something new.— CIA (@CIA) October 18, 2017
Same for our pups, though it usually lasts just a day or two. pic.twitter.com/z9lQa2uKX4
SUBTEXT: LULU SUCKED EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Come on, dudes.
There are a million reasons why a dog has a bad day & our trainers must become doggy psychologists to figure out what will help pups. pic.twitter.com/iaeRpGiSUR— CIA (@CIA) October 18, 2017
Sometimes a pup is bored & needs extra playtime, sometimes they need a little break, or it’s a minor medical condition like a food allergy. pic.twitter.com/pPaBPohhqB— CIA (@CIA) October 18, 2017
For some dogs, after weeks of working w them, it’s clear the issue isn’t temporary & instead, this just isn’t the job they are meant for. pic.twitter.com/bBjPz8Ng2U— CIA (@CIA) October 18, 2017
Lulu wasn’t interested in searching for explosives.— CIA (@CIA) October 18, 2017
Even when motivated w food & play, she was clearly no longer enjoying herself. pic.twitter.com/puvhDk1tRX
Go easy on Lulu.
Our trainers’ top concern is physical & mental well-being of K9s.— CIA (@CIA) October 18, 2017
They made difficult decision & did what’s best for Lulu: stop her training pic.twitter.com/Ss9y9LpE9q
When a pup is removed or retires from our K9 program, the handler & their family is given the chance to adopt them & many do. pic.twitter.com/EMfua7zhbT— CIA (@CIA) October 18, 2017
Now, thanks to being outed, she’ll never have a career in espionage. Fortunately, she’ll have a nice, long retirement “sniffing out rabbits & squirrels in the backyard,” as the CIA put it. Hey, at least it beats being publicly shamed.
Lulu was adopted by her handler & now enjoys her days playing w his kids & a new friend, & sniffing out rabbits & squirrels in the backyard. pic.twitter.com/WOImM75P1D— CIA (@CIA) October 18, 2017
David Covucci is the Layer 8 editor at the Daily Dot, covering the intersection of politics and the web. His work has appeared in Vice, the Huffington Post, Jezebel, Gothamist, and other publications. He is particularly interested in hearing any tips you have. Reach out at [email protected]