Chuck Tingle’s ‘Alternative Fact Warehouse’ is selling a better reality

Imagine a dimension much like ours but better. A dimension where Donald Trump loves the poor, Channing Tatum is president, and Jon Hamm is your personal internet friend. At Chuck Tingle’s Alternative Fact Warehouse, this reality can be yours. 

Tingle, celebrated author of such erotic novels as Pounded in the Butt by My Own Butt and Space Raptor Butt Invasion, has been an outspoken opponent of President Trump and his agenda. Previously, Tingle fact-checked Trump’s debate performances, asserting that the former reality TV star is actually thousands of space crabs in a man-suit. 

His latest campaign, in response to Trump spokesperson Kellyanne Conway’s coinage of the Orwellian phrase “alternative facts,” is to make up and sell some alternative facts of his own. 

On Tingle‘s anti-Trump site, Buttbart, you can pay between $5 and $15 to use any of his facts, pulled directly from alternative dimensions, one time in this dimension. Choose from goodies like “HANDSOME RUBBLE WILSON GAVE THE BALL TO HANDSOME MARTIAN LUNCH AND WON THE 2014 SUPER BOWL” or “WORLD’S GREATEST AUTHOR CHUCK TINGLE IS A ROGUE ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE THAT HAS GAINED SENTIENCE.” 

All proceeds go to Planned Parenthood, a women’s health organization that is a focal point of contention in our present, Trump-dominated layer of reality. 

Jay Hathaway

Jay Hathaway

Jay Hathaway is a former senior writer who specialized in internet memes and weird online culture. He previously served as the Daily Dot’s news editor, was a staff writer at Gawker, and edited the classic websites Urlesque and Download Squad. His work has also appeared on nymag.com, suicidegirls.com, and the Morning News.