Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have. One Romanian cat took that adage to heart.
Earlier this summer, the Romanian gift retailer, Catbox.ro, named “Boss” as its Communications Manager. The Scottish Fold cat was chosen among a pool of more than 700 applicants. It will make $216 per month, and Boss will become the face and “voice” of the Internet startup.
[Placeholder for https://www.facebook.com/Catbox.ro/photos/a.889040014451312.1073741829.790766354278679/937223639632949/?type=1&permPage=1 embed.]
One may wonder, “How in the world does a catget a job in this economy?” The Daily Dot obtained a partial transcript of Boss’s interview with the CEO of Catbox.ro, along with his resumé. After careful review of the documents, it’s easy to see why they’d want Boss to be the boss.
Boss—am I saying your name correctly?—it’s wonderful to get see you in person. We at Catbox are impressed with the work you’ve done on your Instagram page. One million fans in a year. Quite impressive. How do you plan to duplicate your success as Communications Manager of Catbox?
Excellent, Boss. I agree that your very existence as a cat employee of a largely human company would lend itself to automatic virality. That is certainly consistent with the mission of Catbox. Although, being a cat does present certain challenges in the workplace. You are, quite literally, not a human. Are you comfortable with this environment?
[Tongue scraping against paw, purring continues]
Brilliant! Public bathing does have its advantages, as you will be far more productive during work hours. I wish more of our current team were so committed to hygiene. [Laughter] So, levity aside, where do you see yourself in five years?
We’re all at death’s doorstep, I suppose. Which is why you have to act quickly!
[Purring cut off by hacking sound]
Indeed, Boss. Indeed. As we mentioned in the job description, the position pays 150 euro per month. Would that suff—
[Hacking sound, ejects hairball]
OK, OK. I knew you’d want to play hardball. We can meet you halfway. How about 200 euro, and a quarter of it is paid in food?
[Boss hops from chair onto CEO and kneads their stomach, purring continues.]
Yes, yes! We’re going to make tons of bread together. Welcome aboard, Boss!
Increased benefits from supervisors, including dental and medical
Delivered daily gifts to shareholders from personal collection of trespassers
Security, The Alexandrescu Home, Bucharest. April 2012 – January 2013
Successfully monitored and secured territorial boundaries of homestead
Honed and developed nocturnal hunting, vision, and execution skills
Maintained steady diet rationed by supervisors, supplemented with the occasional trespasser
Intern, Romania Animal Rescue, Bucharest. January 2012 – April 2012
Shadowed larger felines in room for socialization skills
Completed training with string and fake mice before entering field
Excelled in advanced swatting techniques (yarn, ping pong balls, paper)
Practiced climbing and critical thinking exercises
University of Garfield Heathcliff – Romania, B.A. Major: Humanities Minor: Business and Communications
Adaptable to indoor and outdoor environments, proficient in human and feline languages, omnivorous, see clearly in the dark, Adobe Creative Cloud (Photoshop, InDesign, Illustrator), proficient in all social media platforms, adorable, cuddly.
H/T Huffington Post | Photo via Apple Jax/Something Awful | Remix by Jason Reed
Feliks Garcia was a reporter and essayist whose work for the Daily Dot focused on social justice issues, internet culture, and the Rock. He was a staff writer for the Independent when he passed away in February 2017 after suffering a heart attack. He was 33.