Listen up, Twitter. We have a problem.
Today is National Candy Corn Day. Great, right? Everyone loves candy corn. It’s just triangular candy. No one on social media should argue about candy. Candy could never lead to murder. Right?
“@UberFacts: Today is National Candy Corn Day!” Yes!!! Finally a day to celebrate candy corn.
— Aaron Paul (@aaronpaul_8) October 30, 2013
@UberFacts FUCK CANDY CORN!!! I DONT EVEN LIKE REAL CORN!!!!
— Christian Vuitton (@Car_614) October 30, 2013
— Elias Malouhi (@EliasMalouhi) October 24, 2013
Candy corn might be killing people.
If you hate candy corn go kill yourself!
— Rin (@RinReaper666) October 29, 2013
I would kill for some candy corn right now… #InTheSpirit
— charlotte robinson (@mscharlotterobs) October 26, 2013
Seriously… I’d kill for some candy corn.
— Jose Villanueva (@josevillanueva) October 26, 2013
— Bill C Da Don (@Billcdadon) October 26, 2013
I would literally KILL for some candy corn! The pumpkin ones preferably ☺
— Hillary Stevens (@stevens_hillary) October 27, 2013
Cool! Cheap hits! Call me to arrange targets! RT @stevens_hillary: I would literally KILL for some candy corn! The pumpkin ones preferably ☺
— Gene Clyatt (@Shinar_Squirrel) October 27, 2013
This man is sick.
I would literally rob a child for a handful of that delicious, golden, dinner spoiling candy corn
— Foul Mouf (@falmouf) October 30, 2013
This person could get crushed. Mountains are huge!
Literally, all I want out of life at this moment is just a mountain of candy corn.
— Jordyn (@joejo979) October 30, 2013
This guy tried to squeeze his hand into a soda can, likely severing it clean off.
i literally just stuck my hand into my soda to take the candy corn out idk why someone help me theres something wrong with me today
— LIMZ :o (@itsnot_louis) October 29, 2013
This is not a joke.
literally someone needs to buy me candy corn this isn’t a joke it’s a life or death situation
— Jessica (@jm_wheels) October 30, 2013
This person values candy corn above everything in her life.
Candy corn are literally the best!
— Jenna Hunt (@HuntJenna45) October 28, 2013
Candy corn turns your blood into sucrose.
I just ate mad candy corn and I can literally feel the sugar coursing through my body. Oh well. #SorryNotSorry
— Faith H. (@Flower__Power_) October 28, 2013
Candy corn is literally Hitler.
If you like candy corn then you are literally and figuratively worse than Hitler.
— Sp00kyMuffins -Kolby (@KhaosMuffins) October 30, 2013
It is the Hitler of Junk Food. RT “@markos: Candy corn is POLARIZING. It’s like the abortion of candy.”
— Larry Madill (@larrymadill) October 28, 2013
On Twitter, blood is practically boiling.
I just celebrated National Candy Corn Day by dumping a bunch of candy corn in the trash
— Jessica Misener (@jessmisener) October 30, 2013
Maybe it’s because of what candy corn does to you.
One time, I ate a whole bag of candy corn and couldn’t poop for a week 🎃 #lessonlearned
— smooth operator (@ohmymiss) October 27, 2013
But there’s an even bigger threat lurking in grocery stores: If candy corn won’t kill you, pumpkin spice will.
Bought some pumpkin spice candy corn!! #kill
— Jaren Cooper (@JarenCooper) October 26, 2013
Photo via Fred Lockwood/Flickr