Men, you lost us at hello

Post attractive, approachable, and confident you, not fuzzy selfies in fluorescent light.

Internet Culture

Published Oct 18, 2013   Updated Jun 1, 2021, 3:55 am CDT

Beth Cook is a dating and career coach. Want advice? Have advice? Send her an email at [email protected].

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I love that these days we can take digital photos of our friends and ourselves—anytime, anywhere—and immediately share them.

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But just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should. Exhibit A: the OkCupid selfie.

Every time I take a spin through OkC, I am appalled at the number of awful male selfies. Of course, there are bad female selfies too, but gals are more likely to have their friends help them out with online profile photos and not resort to photographing themselves.

Step into the world of OkCupid men, and you will find guys behind the wheel of their cars, guys illuminated by their laptop screens, guys in their bathroom mirrors, guys under the never-flattering fluorescent glow of apartment fixtures, and fuzzy close-ups of bedroom eyes. Oof. There is nothing more unattractive than a bad first impression. Listen up, boys: You’re losing scores of women at “hello.”

We want to see your head and shoulders out in the world (in daylight) and your smile (teeth? check!), not you alone in your dingy car or apartment. No, no. That just sucks all of the mystery, romance, and adventure out of the potential dating experience we could have had, but now never will. Plus, you look lonely. That’s never attractive.

Your leading profile pic should be you at your very best in good lighting, in your most handsome shirt, showing off your pearly whites. Attractive, approachable, and confident you. How could a gal resist that?

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Save the funny hat and bike helmet pics for photo numero three or four. Skip the “you in a field” or “you in front of a mountain” pics (we’ve seen nature before and can’t discern a thing about you in miniature); we want to see you, and your body, in actual size.

Comprendo? Oh, one more thing: Button up that shirt and shave that goatee or soul patch. You’ll look a hell of a lot more trustworthy and 2013 (you’re not in high-school anymore).

Ladies: Profile pic no-nos coming up for you next.

Photo via Isengardt/Flickr

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*First Published: Oct 18, 2013, 10:22 am CDT