Here are the best tweets of 2017

As 2016 drew to a close, it seemed like Twitter couldn’t get any worse. The year had been dominated by Russian bots and white supremacist agitators, and as it drew to a close, it was Time for Some Game Theory. Had the bad website finally hit rock bottom? A year later, we know that it absolutely had not. It hardly seems possible, but 2017 brought even hotter takes and even steamier garbage: Verritt authentication codes, battles between roses and corncobs, Kurt Eichenwald looking at anime porn. Each oozing pustule of “free speech” was worst than the last. And then there were Twitter’s policies—Nazis and anime avatars ran wild, while anyone who challenged them was reported for abuse and suspended from the site.

But we kept coming back to drink from Twitter’s poisoned well, day after day. Why? Stockholm Syndrome, for sure. But also good jokes. They were rare, but when they were good, they were very good. They made us, for a brief moment, stop regretting that human beings ever developed language.

Here are the indisputable greatest tweets of 2017. These are them. There are no appeals. Don’t @ me.

bill corbett baconlet tweet billcorbett/Twitter

https://twitter.com/kyungwonspecs/status/877879981006766080 https://twitter.com/ShugoWah/status/878489076348764160

mat jones vape tweet pillowfort/twitter

https://twitter.com/zekNcashe/status/916027985219768321 https://twitter.com/hotrobots/status/941130290088566786

May you and your love ones have a joyous holiday season and a prosperous new year. And, in 2018, may you find the strength to Log Off.

Jay Hathaway

Jay Hathaway

Jay Hathaway is a former senior writer who specialized in internet memes and weird online culture. He previously served as the Daily Dot’s news editor, was a staff writer at Gawker, and edited the classic websites Urlesque and Download Squad. His work has also appeared on nymag.com, suicidegirls.com, and the Morning News.