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“Bernie Sanders should be forced to give away 90% of his birthday cake #HappyBirthdayBernie,” Twitter user @FuctupMike suggested in a now-deleted tweet.
But wait. Isn’t that exactly how birthday cakes work?
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️Posted by Transboy Peter Parker Webshooting Inclusivity Hour on Sunday, September 8, 2019
While few may scarf down an entire birthday cake themselves–British Prime Minister Boris Johnson, who reportedly eats birthday cake for breakfast, comes to mind–it is definitely not the norm. For those who don’t know how birthday cakes work (*cough, *cough @FuctupMike), one usually shares their birthday cake with those helping celebrate their birthday.
“When you try to dunk on someone but you end up announcing how friendless your childhood was instead,” Twitter user @TheLoveBel0w wrote in response to the terrible metaphor.
When you try to dunk on someone but you end up announcing how friendless your childhood was instead. pic.twitter.com/LmcW69aeP6— Tuxedo Mask (@TheLoveBel0w) September 8, 2019
Have you ever been to a birthday party, Mike— Orli Matlow (@HireMeImFunny) September 8, 2019
When you go to someone’s birthday party and they don’t eat the whole cake in one sitting in front of all their hungry guests do you accuse them of being a commie?— James Felton (@JimMFelton) September 8, 2019
@FuctupMike later joked that he was going to buy a cake. “Be cautious buying a birthday cake. You usually have to share about 90% of a birthday cake, because that’s his birthday cakes work,” Kyle Wagoner reminded him.
Be cautious buying a birthday cake. You usually have to share about 90% of a birthday cake, because that’s his birthday cakes work.— Kyle Wagoner (@KyleWagz) September 9, 2019
Watch out, birthday cakes by definition are democratic socialism....people buy cakes and give away almost all of it democratically.— 🔥#UnionStrong 🔥#Bernie2020🔥#BernieYellsForUs🔥 (@Bernie2020FLFAN) September 8, 2019
Don’t eat the whole thing. That’s not how cakes work.— gagewhylds (@gagewhylds) September 9, 2019
People actually started to feel sorry for @FuctupMike, saying it doesn’t seem like he has ever been to a birthday party before nor has anyone ever come to his own birthday party.
“Whoa… has @FuctupMike ever been invited to a birthday party,” Twitter user @wallycard questioned. “Not only that, but it sounds like no one ever came to his. It gets sadder the longer I think about it,” Twitter user @PicklesNapShack added.
whoa... has @FuctupMike ever been invited to a birthday party 🤷🏽♂️— wally ✊🏽 (@wallycard) September 9, 2019
Not only that, but it sounds like no one ever came to his. It gets sadder the longer I think about it.— PickleWattz (@PicklesNapShack) September 9, 2019
@FuctupMike later claimed he deleted his tweet to “piss you people off.” He also seems to be responding to everyone who makes fun of him.
“I can’t believe @FuctupMike has never been to a birthday party before. Ever. In his whole life. Incredible,” one user wrote, to which @FuctupMike responded with a “your mom” joke.
He also called someone out for not being famous, like he is. “So you’d rather be famous for being stupid than not famous at all?” Jeff DeBoer asked in response.
I deleted it to piss you people off.— Mike (@FuctupMike) September 9, 2019
It worked like a charm. https://t.co/i75KV4KmED
Just your mom's https://t.co/pgBYR3eMEi— Mike (@FuctupMike) September 9, 2019
Lol, no ones mad at you. They’re all laughing at you.— ✌️ (@UsefulAmy) September 9, 2019
So you'd rather be famous for being stupid than not famous at all?— Jeff DeBoer (@jefftdeboer) September 9, 2019
But honey, the internet remembers. The internet always remembers. You'll always be the guy who has never been to a birthday party.— JB (@CriminalJustish) September 8, 2019
For someone that doesn’t like socialism you sure like being publicly owned.— JLW (@gopbangs) September 8, 2019
Out of all the things conservatives do and say to own the libs, I think we can safely say @FuctupMike’s metaphor really takes the cake.
Siobhan Ball is a historian, archivist, and journalist. She also writes for Autostraddle and bi.org