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Politics, you see, is like a television show. You watch things happen. But what television show is politics like? Is it House of Cards, where the evil politics man does the politics? Maybe. Or how about The Sopranos, where the Italians do the politics with their hands? Maybe politics is like the Price Is Right, where the politics is done by lots of people, who all shout at the person onstage at the exact same time.
No, that’s Twitter.
Bannon understands the Game of Thrones. Joffrey just beheaded him. So his new plan is to become the Winter King. https://t.co/SBAlxnr1l0— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) August 18, 2017
Like, first off, first off, FIRST OFF: The man who got beheaded by Joffrey explicitly didn’t understand the Game of Thrones. That’s why he got beheaded. Remember when he and Cersei spoke and she said, “You either win or you die?”
He died! He’s dead. That’s not understanding the Game of Thrones. That’s being dead!
And he most assuredly did not then become the Winter King (it’s possible he warped into someone else or was a Faceless Man, but he did not go beyond the Wall), because, second off, there is no Winter King. It’s the Night King. Who brings Winter. JFC SMH BEN.
But, like, lastly, politics is not Game of Thrones. There are no fire-breathing dragons in politics!!!
(Unless you count Ted Kenndy’s booze breath, heyoo.)
Anyway, because it was such a dumb tweet, and because what’s going on in America right now is way more important than any fictional septet going north to catch a wight and should be taken more way more seriously, people were rightfully dunking all over on Shapiro.
If either of you understood Game of Thrones you would know you can't just become the Night King. https://t.co/E1Y0yopQwv— Isaac Butler (@parabasis) August 18, 2017
i haven't watched game of thrones - does a guy without a head become the winter king? https://t.co/2SGdIzGRna— creepy bug facts (@bug_facts) August 18, 2017
haha yes i love gain of throws https://t.co/n5IFQU1iAy— Theo Pepper (@theopepper) August 18, 2017
When you don't watch GOT but want to fit in with your peers https://t.co/3RWAtx0JxG— DarkSkintDostoyevsky (@daniecal) August 18, 2017
wow this dude has been watching a completely different show than the rest of us https://t.co/afYXLdWJDS— good soup (@ersatzfusillade) August 18, 2017
Which means Twitter also ate up its disjointed nature and poor comprehension of plot dynamics.
"He's going to become like Queen Danielle, and flame-broil them all with his dragon, Drag-on." https://t.co/5H99Vt0EFO— Dan Devine (@YourManDevine) August 18, 2017
Bannon went from being "A King of Thrones" to a "dragon" in one fell swoop of the "sword" on "HBOGo" https://t.co/ecqnbbf28A— Mentally, I'll (@ByYourLogic) August 18, 2017
It soon went delightfully off the rails.
Steve Bannon is the throne... and the game is afoot. Winter is a season. https://t.co/cYQWgLqK4c— Stefan Heck (@boring_as_heck) August 18, 2017
Bannon understands Mad Men. Lucky Strike just walked out. So his new plan is to fuck a secretary https://t.co/wmDSvn7oJ0— Ken @ Staple 38 (@kenlowery) August 18, 2017
"Use the force, Harry." — Gandalf, the Winter King https://t.co/y6ZWXXO1c8— Hrishikesh Hirway (@HrishiHirway) August 18, 2017
Bannon was a Slytherin but then the Sorting Hat leviosa'd his horcrux so now he's the Golden Snitch for I dunno the Hamburglar or some shit https://t.co/yrvnQunQuc— Near deGrasse Tyson (@DrNeilTyson) August 18, 2017
Bannon understands The Neverending Story. Like the wolf-monster Gmork, he has impaled himself on a knife held by boy Atreyu, and is now dead https://t.co/c1SirtPlNu— MisterHippity (@MisterHippity) August 18, 2017
Others just pointed out how plain bad it was.
Finally it's here, the worst tweet ever https://t.co/QyI7RnpUeT— Ayatollah Cumonme (@Phonycian) August 18, 2017
But anyway, given all that, there’s one last reason it’s terrible.
BANNON IS VARYS.
JFC SMH PPL.
David Covucci is the Layer 8 editor at the Daily Dot, covering the intersection of politics and the web. His work has appeared in Vice, the Huffington Post, Jezebel, Gothamist, and other publications. He is particularly interested in hearing any tips you have. Reach out at [email protected]