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Ass and ye shall receive.
Note: This article features frank discussions of sexuality and is NSFW.
Because 2014 was principally composed of garbage, Americans took solace in butts. Nicki Minaj and Kim Kardashian broke the Internet with theirs. Gawker declared a “Booty-Eating Renaissance.” Even Magic: The Gathering nerds got a crack at the craze. And straight dudes—who couldn’t get enough of it in porn—demanded anal sex from Internet strangers.
While bros’ love of anal is perhaps exaggerated, enough of them are obsessed to warrant some kind of preemptive retaliation. Below, meet the finest butt-play trolls of Tinder—each one the girl of your dreams:
And a bonus profile that doesn’t mention anal, but may as well have:
Keep up the good work, ladies—even men are starting to get the joke.
Illustration by Jason Reed
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'