Penis necklaces are a thing, apparently

Summer’s hottest new accessory? A penis necklace, apparently.

Truly, you can buy anything off the internet. Usually, you have to go to Etsy to find niche oddities, but this $60 necklace demonstrates Amazon has no shortage of its own offerings.

Penis necklaces are already a thing. However, this Amazon necklace is a very special penis necklace. Pull on the golden chain (also available in silver) and it goes from flaccid to erect.

Now everyone can see how excited you are about your new necklace.Yes, this is actually on amazon: https://amzn.to/2FKyfHr

Posted by I Craft Because Punching People Is Frowned Upon on Sunday, June 30, 2019

The seller that offers it primarily makes perfectly reasonable jewelry like non-penis rings and earrings.

Customer reviews for the necklace are mixed. One customer seems upset their necklace isn’t erecting properly, slapping a two-star rating on the product.

“Cool to look at, but doesn’t function as described. I’ll probably have to take it to a jeweler if I want it to function properly–No quick Viagra-fix,” the customer wrote.

Others who are giving whopping five-star ratings seem to only be handing them out as gag gifts.

“Everybody that I’ve given this to has found it to be a great and funny gift,” another customer wrote.

Gag gifts for friends make a lot of sense, but is there a market where a penis necklace is a legit fashion statement?

After perusing social media, it seems there is. A handful of people on Twitter are admitting to owning one.

So if you, too, have always had an erectable-penis-necklace-shaped hole in your life, the internet is here to help you fill it.

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Siobhan Ball

Siobhan Ball

Siobhan Ball is a historian, archivist, and journalist. She also writes for Autostraddle and bi.org