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Summer’s hottest new accessory? A penis necklace, apparently.
Penis necklaces are already a thing. However, this Amazon necklace is a very special penis necklace. Pull on the golden chain (also available in silver) and it goes from flaccid to erect.
Now everyone can see how excited you are about your new necklace.Yes, this is actually on amazon: https://amzn.to/2FKyfHr
Customer reviews for the necklace are mixed. One customer seems upset their necklace isn’t erecting properly, slapping a two-star rating on the product.
“Cool to look at, but doesn’t function as described. I’ll probably have to take it to a jeweler if I want it to function properly–No quick Viagra-fix,” the customer wrote.
Others who are giving whopping five-star ratings seem to only be handing them out as gag gifts.
“Everybody that I’ve given this to has found it to be a great and funny gift,” another customer wrote.
Gag gifts for friends make a lot of sense, but is there a market where a penis necklace is a legit fashion statement?
After perusing social media, it seems there is. A handful of people on Twitter are admitting to owning one.
— Usagi (@Pretear) May 20, 2015
I have a penis necklace. It gets erect when I pull the chain. It's classier than it sounds.
— Bees Wing (@bees_wingz) August 23, 2015
@bees_wingz It would have to be.
— Hugh Johnson 🏳️🌈 (@Suburbsexaddict) August 23, 2015
@ArchedEyebrowBR I have a penis necklace that you can pull a string to erect, I don't wear it nearly often enough
— Clouds (@theviciouspixie) December 18, 2014
So if you, too, have always had an erectable-penis-necklace-shaped hole in your life, the internet is here to help you fill it.
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Siobhan Ball is a historian, archivist, and journalist. She also writes for Autostraddle and bi.org