Editor’s Note: Recently, Dunkin’ Donuts aired a commercial in which a bit of background camaraderie goes strangely awry. Here is a transcript of what no doubt went through the head of the actor responsible.
OK, just play it cool. This could be your only shot. Nail the Dunkin’ Donuts commercial, and it could lead to more work, bigger brands, more celebs, maybe even a bit part on a sitcom.
There’s no reason for you to botch this. You know Dunkin’ Donuts creamer inside and out. Look into the mirror, do your affirmations. “Like Dunkin’s coffee, you do acting right.” Repeat. Breathe.
Five minutes until showtime. Remember who you are: You are a Dunkin’ Donuts chef(?). You put your heart and soul into this new creamer. You are up against the best damn creamer chefs in Cleveland. I know we’re not in Cleveland, but your character may be. That’s not important. OK, you’re not from Cleveland. Walla Walla. There. Funny. Smile.
When she tastes the coffee and that delicious Dunkin Donuts creamer, you’ll celebrate with your pal—maybe he’s the one from Cleveland. Yeah! Watch closely, pay attention, she’s taking a sip… Wait for the cue…
[Actress says, “It’s impossible!”]
She did it, now celebrate!
We’re laughing, we’re having a good time—wait, he’s going in for a fist-bump. What is this? We didn’t rehearse a fist-bump! Just go with it. What can be so hard about a fist-bump? Ease into it: Close your hand… good. Now aim for his fist—it’s approaching way too fast! Why is he doing this?
Dammit! Dammit! We missed. Easy now, just play it off. Go for the explosion. Excellent. Keep laughing. That’s right, laugh it off. I don’t think the others noticed.
How did we miss the fist-bump? This was sabotage! He wants to take my place, he wants the sitcoms, doesn’t he? Well I’ll show him. I’m going to meet him in the hallway and fist-bump him… in the face.
I should work on getting my name changed after this.
Photo via Alan Levine/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)