Baby crying

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What’s in a name? You don’t want to know.

This article contains explicit content.

Urban Dictionary is about much more than the finer points of slang. It’s not even just about words in general. It’s also defining people—for better, for worse, and for no reason at all.

What am I prattling on about, you ask? Well, Urban Dictionary hosts quite a few pages devoted to specific names. To take one example, the top definition for “Miles” explains, “Miles is a sexy, masculine individual exuding the most desirable of traits.” Accurate! Scrolling down, however, one sees “Miles” alternatively defined as “a hairy orphan with plastic teeth.”

All that is to say: Parents should be damn careful when naming their newborns, lest they forever brand their darling child as someone who “smells like dead vagina.” 

Take heed.

Urban Dictionary

Urban Dictionary

Urban Dictionary

Urban Dictionary

Urban Dictionary

Urban Dictionary

Urban Dictionary

Urban Dictionary

Urban Dictionary

Urban Dictionary

Urban Dictionary

Urban Dictionary

Urban Dictionary

Urban Dictionary

Apologies to anyone whose name appears above, but let’s face it, you’re better off knowing.

Photo via Harald Groven/Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)

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