- People are roasting this ‘traditional’ take on marriage with a hilarious meme Saturday 5:17 PM
- The internet just collectively realized that the Neopets of the world must be hungry Saturday 4:00 PM
- Alt-right message board 8chan was served a search warrant Saturday 3:06 PM
- O.J. Simpson just joined Twitter in the most bizarre fashion Saturday 1:20 PM
- Prominent phone-hacking firm says it can unlock any iPhone for law enforcement Saturday 12:39 PM
- Hundreds of police officers belong to extremist Facebook groups, investigation finds Saturday 9:31 AM
- How to watch Tyson Fury vs. Tom Schwarz online Saturday 8:00 AM
- ‘Late Night’ is a disappointing, tepid comedy Saturday 7:00 AM
- How to stream ‘Love It or List It’ for free Saturday 7:00 AM
- How to watch the 2019 Concacaf Gold Cup online for free Saturday 6:55 AM
- Borderlands 3 preview suggests the aging series can still hang with the cool kids Saturday 6:30 AM
- How to stream the 2019 College World Series for free Saturday 6:00 AM
- Police try to solve domestic violence by giving victims blunt kitchen knives Friday 5:40 PM
- Privacy activist Ola Bini detained for 2 months in Ecuador without charges Friday 5:01 PM
- Twitter says suspending ‘God’ for a pro-LGBTQ tweet was an ‘error’ Friday 4:14 PM
A humbling 90 minutes for the world’s proudest soccer nation is finally over.
Rapper Freddie Gibbs would call Germany’s 7-1 World Cup semifinal deconstruction of Brazil a “good old-fashioned Joe Jackson ass-whoppin’.” The host nation fell Tuesday to a film credits-esque scroll of merciless German goals in historic fashion—nearly tying the 7-0 result Poland put on Haiti in 1974 while suffering its first defeat on home soil since 1975, and its worst defeat since 1920.
Brazil was out-classed, out-hustled, and its backline was left spinning and staring at one another in disbelief as Germany’s veterans punched a series of rec league blowout grounders through a creaky Julio Cesar.
Germany will play the winner of Netherlands and Argentina in Sunday’s World Cup final at 3:00 p.m. Eastern.
Let’s go to a stream-of-consciousness roll of Twitter zingers, facts, on what was a field day for the medium.
— SimpsonsQOTD (@SimpsonsQOTD) July 8, 2014
Looks like we’ll still be the only ones with 6 World Fútbol Championships
— Troy Polamalu (@tpolamalu) July 8, 2014
— Football Related (@FootbaIlRelated) July 8, 2014
6-0. 1950 had the Marcanazo; 2014 has the #Neymargeddon.
— Musa Okwonga (@Okwonga) July 8, 2014
GO FOR TWO GERMANY
— Bill Barnwell (@billbarnwell) July 8, 2014
If Brazil comes back from being down 5-0 to Germany, I will get a Brazilian wax.
— Joe Warminsky (@jwarminsky) July 8, 2014
— The Daily Beast (@thedailybeast) July 8, 2014
— Rosebell Kagumire (@RosebellK) July 8, 2014
I can still win my fantasy matchup if Fred scores 1.5 goals and runs for at least THREE kilometers.
— Drew Magary (@drewmagary) July 8, 2014
If only the Germans had a word for taking pleasure in the misfortunes of others.
— delrayser (@delrayser) July 8, 2014
At least #Bra are making a dignified effort to score here. Just can’t score.
— Anthony Lopopolo (@sportscaddy) July 8, 2014
— not that mike (@mikeishappy) July 8, 2014
“Ooh, the Germans!” pic.twitter.com/lGCVfFpJjZ
— Eric Gómez (@EricGomezFOX) July 8, 2014
#BRA brought Ramires on? Somebody getting hurt on that field TODAY.
— Mobbdeen (@Deen8) July 8, 2014
The broadcast goes to Bob Ley’s Panic Room, but all you can hear is Michael Ballack pounding on the door and making guttural noises.
— Alex Keckeisen (@Alex_Keck) July 8, 2014
— Maxi Rodriguez (@FutbolIntellect) July 8, 2014
Was it?! pic.twitter.com/XDp6wudq9n
— Isaac (@WorldofIsaac) July 8, 2014
Ramon Ramirez is the news director, and formerly the Dot's entertainment editor and evening editor. His work has appeared in the Washington Post, Grantland, Washington City Paper, Austin American-Statesman, and Austin Monitor.