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The Pulse Warming System lets you focus on the moment instead of a slippery lube bottle

Pleaser*

According to one study, 66% of people with vulvas across the US use a lubricant to achieve more enjoyable intercourse, sex toy play, masturbation, and whatever sexy fun they get into between the sheets. 

Still, there’s a lot of controversy surrounding lube and women. “[People think] it’s either for old ladies or bad girls,” says Jenny Block, author of The Ultimate Guide to Solo Sex. But a simple squeeze of lube can help make sex more fun by heightening pleasurable sensations, regardless of age. Even if you don’t think you need lube, you might find that you actually like it. 

As much as I live by a “wetter is better” mantra, lube can be messy and sticky bottles are my nemesis. Not to mention lube-stained sheets—one of my top laundry nightmares. (Pro tip: water-based lubes are way easier to clean; for silicone stains, I swear by Soilove.)

So, you can only imagine my excitement when I got my hands on a Pulse warming system. 


Why we love the Pulse warming system

two people in bed, hand reaching under pulse warming system

This nifty touchless dispenser serves up warm, palm-sized portions of lube with the wave of a hand. It is a practical addition to any bedroom and stylish too. Imagine if Apple and your favorite lube brand got it on and birthed the smartest and prettiest product (think “Bella Hadid features” beautiful). 

Anyway, good looks aside, the Pulse solves so many issues that come with using standard issue lube. There’s no mess, sticky bottles, or having to fumble to get a cap off when literally, all you want to do is get off. 

The best feature, though, IMO, is having warm lube on demand. If you’ve ever had a partner shock your anus or vulva with ice-cold lube, you know what I mean. I can’t speak for penis-having people, but I imagine it’s similarly unpleasant. We all deserve better. Whether you’re masturbating or partaking in partnered stimulation, the Pulse delivers warm and cozy comfort for your genitals. 

My only regret is not having two dispensers—one for my desk and one for my nightstand. However, as someone who works from home and has a flexible schedule, I admit to taking more midday masturbation breaks at my desk than most 9-to-5ers. (Don’t @ me, okay?)


How to use the Pulse warming system

Pulse comes with a straightforward quick-start guide. I tend to skip over instructions since I can be a sex toy know-it-all, but I’m glad I gave this guide a read to fully grasp all of the machine’s cool features. 

Setting it up is super simple. Push a button to open the pod chamber, take off the cap of your pod, then slide it into the chamber. 

Next, power up the dispenser. An extra-long cord makes it easy to put your Pulse wherever it’s most convenient. 

Okay, so here’s the part that may test your patience (depending upon your timing): When you turn on the Pulse, it takes a good five to seven minutes to heat a full pod. It’s OK if you plan ahead and accordingly. But, if you’re in the throes of intimacy and think you’re going to have on-demand warm lube, there will be a delay. (Various indicator lights let you know when it’s warming, fully warmed, one serving remains, or is empty.) My advice is to start warming the second you think you’re going to self-pleasure or have sexy time with a partner. 

pulse warming system with mood light activated sitting on a table with two wine glasses in the background.

So, now that we’ve got the basic functions down, here’s where things get fun. The Pulse is already a sleek addition to your bedroom décor, but it also doubles as sensual mood lighting. With the tap of a button on the back of the machine, you can cycle through six color choices. You can also adjust the brightness of each hue with a vertical sweep on a slider on the back of the device. 


Pros:

  • Less messy than other lid types, the drop dish catches any spillage
  • The touchless dispenser makes it more hygienic
  • The sleek design is discrete enough to leave on your nightstand
  • Six different mood light color choices with adjustable brightness 
  • Warmth! No more too-cold lube hitting your sensitive parts
  • Lube adds sensation to sex and a wider array of positions possible
  • Silicone or water-based lube options
  • Made from all-natural ingredients
  • Pods are cost-effective—six 67ml pods cost $29.95, so roughly $2.20 per ounce
  • Pods are recyclable 
  • If you get, umm, distracted, the dispenser automatically turns off an hour after your last use

Cons:

  • If you’re ready to go, the five to seven minutes it takes to power and warm up can seem like forever. You know it’s good to go when the light is steady, but it sometimes feels like waiting for a watched pot to boil. That said, the Pulse will dispense room-temperature lube at any time.

Verdict:

It’s a splurge item, for sure, but really no more expensive than a high-quality sex toy. If you’re cold temperature averse (raises hand), it’s a worthy spend. Now that I know the joys of warm lube on my soft parts, there’s no turning back. Besides, there’s nothing less sexy than a sticky old lube bottle.