So you want to suck a dick, eh? You want to suck a dick so well that the person attached to that dick is, dare I say, blown away?
You want to be the master of dicks, don’t you?
So you went ahead and Googled it, or found this article by some other means. Perhaps someone wants you to suck their dick really well, and sent you this article as a little nudge in the right direction. Or maybe you just saw it as you were scrolling through your phone and thought, “Sure, can’t hurt to see what it says. Might learn something new”.
Bless you.
Plenty of people will tell you how to suck a dick, and there are as many ways to suck a dick as there are people with opinions about sucking dicks. Probably more.
I’ve sucked a fair share of dicks. Small ones, big ones, soft ones, hard ones, cut and uncut, juicy, dry, straight, and curved. I’ve had partners engage a little too strongly for my liking, while others stayed completely limp as if they were afraid to even acknowledge what was happening. Fortunately, most were in the happy middle ground of balanced ecstasy.
It’s a delicate matter, and as such deserves a delicate approach to teaching how one must, in fact, approach the delicate act of dick sucking.
How to suck a dick
Step 1: Read the room
Probably the most important thing to consider is the vibe.
Assess the situation. Take your time with this if you can. Consider your relationship with the person in question. What do you know about their anatomy and their reactions? What do you know about their personality and the situation that might give you clues as to how to proceed?
Were you staying up all night discussing intellectual references and philosophical concepts? Were you at the gym together, getting all sweaty and intense? Or were you at a club, music blaring and drugs fuelling a deep passion for a complete stranger? All of these details can give you clues about what attitude you should use while giving oral pleasure to the object of your desire.
This is probably a good time to do a consent check-in.
Step 2: Consent
As we all know by now, consent is like tea. If you offer someone some tea, they might say yes or they might say no, but you wouldn’t then go ahead and make tea for someone who refused the offer. If they asked for some tea but were so tired that they fell asleep while you were making it, you wouldn’t pour the tea down their unconscious throat. You just wouldn’t do that.
You’re better than that.
Better enough to know that consent can be tricky and should be considered carefully. Does this person you’re into want something from you or do you have any institutional power over them? Do they have institutional power over you? How much of what substances have been taken? Have they enthusiastically demanded you to do sexy things to them? Or did they, upon realizing how into them you were, take steps towards more intimate experiences? Or less?
I know it sucks to think that someone might have any sort of hesitation or doubt about having you suck their dick, but it’s always a possibility. Good to check.
A practice script for how to ask someone for their consent to receive oral sex
“I want to suck your dick.”
“Mmmm yeah, you should.”
“Mmmm yeah I think I will.”
“Oh, yes please.”
If you’ve had some sort of interaction like this, then I’d say you’re probably good to go. Remember that you can check in as often as you want, and you can even use it as a teasing device if you like.
“You sure you want my dirty, wet mouth on your dick?”
“Yeah….I’m sure.”
“How bad do you want my dirty, wet mouth on your big, hard dick?
“Real bad.”
“What would you do for that pleasure? Would you…”
And so on.
This little banter can also give you some clues about how to proceed. Are they into the idea of being dirty? Do they prefer a more wholesome approach? Soft and slow, or hard and fast?
Now, I’m not going to tell you that there’s a perfect way to suck a dick so you can get top marks in this erotic class. That’s not how it works.
A good fellatio session is an art, like making a beautiful cafe beverage. Even choosing different quantities of milk, foam and water can make it a whole other drink altogether. The temperature of the water, the speed of milk frothing, and even especially the pouring all combine to create a deliciously satisfying drink.
Who am I to argue that a latte is any better than a cappuccino or an americano? It’s all a matter of taste.
Step 3: Be attentive
What’s most important is that you are attentive to the needs of the person on the other side of the dick. How are they reacting to your touch? If you’re not sure, go slower. Really lose yourself in your task. Move your head in ways that feel good. Make sounds and breathe deeply if it feels right.
Don’t forget your hands.
You can add elements, like hands or toys. When coordinated with your mouth, this can be especially effective. Give it a shot.
If you’re not sure how your mouth is being received, you can always ask. Play into whatever dynamic you’ve been building. Is your partner attracted to your power or your service? Do they want to feel helpless against your extreme sexiness, or empowered by your devoted worship?
Like I said, the vibe is important. Pay attention to it.
Step 4: Things to keep in mind
The head of the penis is very sensitive. It’s analogous to the external part of the clit. Some people find this area to be extremely sensitive, while others enjoy harder pressure. It’s a good idea to ask what they like. If they don’t know what to tell you, start gently and gradually increase pressure if you’re getting good responses. Be careful not to go too hard. Look for signs like changes in breathing, vocalizing, or positioning.
Balls are fun, too. These can also be sensitive, though, in my experience, there’s been more leeway. Gentle cupping and maybe some squeezes are often nice.
It might be welcome to play with their butt as well, but I would ask first. That area is often emotionally-charged and could be either extremely sexy or extremely awful. When in doubt, leave it out. You can always ask for it next time.
Step 5: Go deeper
Fortunately, if you’re a visual learner, there are guides you can watch online to help better prepare you for your sensual adventures. Adam & Eve Plus has a massive collection of sex guides featuring advice from professional porn stars and sex therapists.
Nina Hartley’s instructional Guide to Oral is highly recommended. Hartley is a seasoned pro who masterfully guides you through everything you need to know to give really good head. She even plays up the biology teacher role in the beginning, which is fun for those into academic role-playing.
Adam & Eve has plenty more videos for you to explore and watch. There are ninety-eight full-length instructional videos to be exact, each over two hours long. Nina Hartley has plenty of videos with a fun, 80s aesthetic and you’ll find videos on many different subjects on Adam & Eve.
