Photo via ThinkGeek

Dear ThinkGeek, please make these April Fools’ Day products real

The geniuses at ThinkGeek have done it again.

Feb 29, 2020, 9:21 am*

Internet Culture


Michelle Jaworski

Every year, ThinkGeek releases a new slate of products for April Fools’ Day that are equally ridiculous and clever, and this year is no different.

While we know that these products—including a Flavor of the Day Desktop Calendar, a Plumbus from Rick and Morty, a Useless Light Switch, and a Vertical Landing Mentos and Diet Coke Rocket—are fake, we still lament the fact that we can’t buy them. They’re fun, they’re geeky, and we can definitely incorporate them into our everyday lives.

But unlike the rest of the Internet on April Fools’ Day, ThinkGeek has a history of occasionally turning its prank products into real items. Here are just a few of the products that we hope will one day become real ThinkGeek offerings.

1) Attack on Titan Colossal Titan Lawn Ornament


What better way to guard your domain and scare the crap out of your neighbors any day of the year than by planting one of these above your house? Even if you’re friends haven’t seen Attack on Titan, this ornament will test their commitment to you by weeding out the people too scared to enter your home.

Of course, if a homeowner’s association orders you to take it down, you’re a bit out of luck.

2) Star Trek White Noise Sleep Machine


Feel like you’re a member of Starfleet with this white noise sleep machine. It plays the sounds of whichever Star Trek ship you prefer and projects stars above you while you sleep.

In the morning, you can wake up to the same alarm that brings the crew together whenever there’s a crisis on the ship. You’ll be ready and alert for the new day, just like your crew.

3) baRPG


Pub crawls are pretty much like a giant role-playing game anyway, so the only addition here is the board. Now you don’t even need to leave the comfort of your home—or deal with horrible drunk people—to do it.

4) Magic: The Gathering – Travel Edition


Magic: The Gathering has captivated fans for years, but it always required you to stay in one place. Now you can take it on the road with a fraction of the space required to play the regular game. The small cards, though, might be a problem for some people.

5) VR Sensory Immersion Generator


Virtual reality already transports our eyes and ears into another world, but what’s missing is the other three senses. With the help of a friend and this contraption, you can easily bring the real world over into the virtual one.

The immersion is flawless.

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*First Published: Apr 1, 2016, 1:25 pm