Mel Gibson is in early talks to direct Suicide Squad 2, indicating that Warner Bros. is bravely forging ahead with its plan to make the Suicide Squad franchise as dark and horrifying possible. What could be edgier than paying millions of dollars to someone famous for domestic abuse allegations and anti-Semitic rants?
Just in case Warner Bros. decides not to hire Gibson, though, we’ve put together a shortlist of possible alternatives.
- Literally any woman director. This should be a no-brainer, because Hollywood has seemingly run out of male directors who a) have the requisite experience to make a blockbuster movie, and b) don’t have a 20-year history of spouting racial slurs.
- Ben Affleck. We hear he has some free time now.
- A third-grader who likes to make their superhero dolls fight each other. This is basically the narrative level we’re looking at for the Suicide Squad franchise, whose first film was re-edited to look more like its trailer, and went on to be panned by critics while earning $745 million at the box office.
- One of those angry internet Batman v. Superman fans who show up in the comments section to defend Zack Snyder’s genius. They always seem to know what’s best for the DC franchise; Q.E.D.
- Suicide Squad director David Ayer, to preserve the artistic integrity of the original Suicide Squad.
Just a quick reminder before you make your final decision, Warner Bros.: Harley Quinn, inarguably the most popular character in Suicide Squad, is a Jewish woman in a violent, abusive relationship with the Joker. Is it possible that Mel Gibson is not the best choice of director to tell this story?