Is this the most highbrow d**k joke in television history?

Mike Judge really does his homework.

 

Miles Klee

Internet Culture

Published Jun 2, 2014   Updated May 31, 2021, 5:20 am CDT

Rarely does the season finale of a sitcom hinge on advanced mathematics, but when it comes to Mike Judge’s Silicon Valley, one should never underestimate the geek pedigree.

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In last night’s episode, right as things seemed bleakest for the hapless employees of startup Pied Piper, inspiration struck in the form of a lengthy digression about dicks.

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The team, resigned to a public embarrassment in the finals of TechCrunch’s Disrupt conference because a Google-like company reverse-engineered their algorithm, idly wonders how long it would take one of them give the entire audience handjobs.

Dinesh, played with superb understatement by Kumail Nanjiani, produces a formula: “800 dudes multiplied by mean jerk time divided by four dicks at a time,” or [T = (800 x mJT) / 4].


 

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As you can see, the calculations spiral out of control from there, eventually involving variables such as “dick-to-floor” height (D2F) and “time to orgasm” (T2O), not to mention the nagging problem of girth differential. But in the end, it all checks out: 

I asked @MikeJudge to explain all the math on the board. He did. We got Stanford engineers to verify it all. #true #SiliconValleyHBO @HBO

— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) June 2, 2014

Nerds, naturally, were overjoyed.

@kumailn @MikeJudge @HBO Finally, a show that uses real algorithms and real computer terms! I love it !! My fav show!! :D

— Natalia (@CompSciBlondy) June 2, 2014

@kumailn @MikeJudge @HBO Best use of Stanford engineering…ever.

— Cori Mozilo (@cmozilo) June 2, 2014

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@kumailn @MikeJudge @HBO truly the nerdiest dick joke ever. Also hilarious.

— Obi (@Mr_Carpainter) June 2, 2014

But there was more to this gag than deep technical knowledge and a sly comment about the real Silicon Valley’s male-dominated, circle-jerk corporate culture: the masturbatory chat is what gives Richard (the wonderfully uncomfortable Thomas Middleditch) the epiphany of working from the “middle out” for optimal “tip-to-tip” efficiency in his compression algorithm. 

As a result, Pied Piper wows the Disrupt crowd with an off-the-charts “Weissman score.”


 

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Where most creatives would have happily invented such a concept from whole cloth, Silicon Valley’s producers commissioned the genuine article from Stanford professor Tsachy Weissman and graduate student Vinith Misra—for authenticity’s sake. 

Hey #SiliconValleyHBO geeks, here’s the real formula from Stanford researchers used to calculate Weissman score pic.twitter.com/dr0QBa1Bwj

— John Jurgensen (@johnjurg) June 2, 2014

Does popular entertainment get any dorkier than that? Your move, Big Bang Theory.

Photo via HBO GO

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*First Published: Jun 2, 2014, 11:58 am CDT