rick and morty quotes

Photo via Rick and Morty Wikia

15 ‘Rick and Morty’ quotes that’ll blow your mind and crush your soul

It's impossible to pick just one favorite quote from Rick and Morty, so here are the 15 best.

 

John-Michael Bond

Internet Culture

Posted on Oct 8, 2017   Updated on May 22, 2021, 3:01 pm CDT

Rick and Morty is a fascinating show. Boiled down to its most fundamental roots, it’s simply a well-plotted, zany, sci-fi comedy. Still, its impact on viewers can’t be overstated, both for fans who see it as a philosophical reference point (and for those who use it as an excuse monstrous behavior).

What about this seemingly innocent Adult Swim cartoon drives people so wild? Brilliant writing and content are a big part of it. Even the most innocuous moment can mean the world on Rick and Morty, giving the series a wildcard edge that sets it apart from the rest modern television. No one has partnered fart jokes with careful looks into the human soul like Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland and their toxic love letter to the human heart. Lost? Watch Rick and Morty. But if you’re curious about the best moments from the cartoon that launched a million catchphrases, you are in luck.

Here are the best Rick and Morty quotes. For longtime fans, consider it a chance to revisit the best moments from the series (and a good reminder of just how much Rick garbles his lines). For new fans, it’s a taste of what you’ve been missing. As for folks who have tried but never found a connection with the show, we hear The Good Place is on Netflix and is worth your time. Let’s get started.


16 ‘Rick and Morty’ Quotes That Will Blow Your Mind and Crush Your Soul


The 15 best Rick and Morty quotes

1)

Rick: Listen, Jerry, I don’t want to overstep my bounds or anything. It’s your house. It’s your world. You’re a real Julius Caesar, but I’ll tell you some, tell you how-how I feel about school, Jerry. It’s a waste of time, a bunch of people running around, bumping into each other. G-guy up front says, “two plus two.” The people in the back say, “four.” Then the bell rings, and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can take a dump or something. I mean, it’s—it’s not a place for smart people, Jerry, and I know that’s not a popular opinion, but it’s my two cents on the issue.

Episode: “Pilot”

Why: Within the first few minutes of Rick and Morty’s adventures, the audience is immediately made aware of two things. One, Rick does not respect the standard order of our society and two, he holds us all in contempt. What at first appears to be a funny riff about outsider culture quickly becomes the foundation of the show. Nothing is as it seems and the people who live their lives respecting the standard order will soon learn the impact of their choices. 

2)

Child Morty Jr.: I mean, you know, I—I don’t want to shoot nobody.
Rick: They’re just robots, Morty! It’s OK to shoot them! They’re robots!
Guard #1: Aah! My leg is shot off!
Guard #2: Glenn’s bleeding to death!
Child Morty Jr.: Someone call his wife and children!
Child Morty Jr.: They’re not robots, Rick!
Rick: It’s a figure of speech, Morty. They’re bureaucrats. I don’t respect them.

Episode: “Pilot”

Why: Episode 1 probably wasn’t the first time Morty had to kill an innocent to help his grandpa, but it sure as hell wouldn’t be his last. This quote serves one purpose, letting the audience know the only absolute truth in a Rick and Morty episode is that nothing can be trusted and every twist comes with a dark punch.

3)

Snuffles: Tell me, Summer, if a human was born with stumpy legs, would they breed it with another deformed human and put their children on display like the Dachshund?

Episode: “Lawnmower Dog”

Why: Loving Rick and Morty means asking the difficult questions. Questions like, “Would our pets breed us in horrifying configurations if we were effing adorable?” The answer is obviously yes.

4)

Rick: Ruben’s seen some rough years, Morty. You don’t agree to get a theme park built inside you if your life is going great.

Episode: “Anatomy Park”

Why: Rick’s moral relativism becomes something of a running theme throughout the series, but this is the first example of him using people as an actual ecosystem for his experiments. In the context of this episode, the line is a funny aside meant to comfort Morty’s morals, but taken as a part of the whole series it’s a hysterical example of how Rick can convince himself even the most selfish actions are for the greater good.

5)

Mr. Meeseeks: Having a family doesn’t mean that you stop being an individual. You know the best thing you can do for the people that depend on you? Be honest with them, even if it means setting them free.

Episode: “Meeseeks and Destroy”

Why: Mr. Meeseeks is an alien species that only exists until they’ve solved your problem. There’s no ambiguity to their existence. They can only disappear when they’ve completed their task—in this case, Beth’s request to be a complete woman. Beth’s discontent is planted during this season 1 conversation, but it takes until the beginning of season 3 to come to a head. In the interim, the seemingly irreparable riff in Beth and Jerry’s marriage becomes a focal point in the series. We would support a relationship talk show hosted by Mr. Meeseeks nonetheless.

5)

Rick: Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call “love” is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.

Episode: “Rick Potion #9”

Why: It’s interesting in retrospect that Rick and Morty has attracted so many nihilistic fans. This line from season 1 isn’t an example of Rick’s brilliance, but his cowardice: He’s a mad scientist who can face every horror in the universe except his actions. Rick’s quest to make Morty into the protege he could never create in Beth is a theme throughout the series, but this moment exemplifies the power of the show. Lots of viewers saw this and thought, “yeah, that’s me,” instead of “oh shit, that’s me.” Sometimes the clearest expressions of Rick’s pain aren’t his confessions but his defenses of his terrible ideas.

6)

Morty: Rick, what about the reality we left behind?

Rick: What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer? Just don’t think about it, Morty.

Episode: “Rick Potion #9”

Why: Normally when a cartoon says “don’t think about it,” it’s a throwaway gag about continuity. In the case of Rick and Morty, this is a terrifying look into how callously Rick views life in the rest of the multiverse. There’s always another universe if you destroy this one. Thinking about what could have been is simply a waste of time.

7)

Summer: “Why are you fighting? Can’t you see you’re all the same?”
Morty: “Oh Summer, first race war, huh?”

Episode: “Auto-Erotic Assimilation”

Why: Sometimes the darkest jokes on Rick and Morty are just simple observations about civilization. This is one of its funniest.

8)

Blim Blam: [speaks] Um, first of all, hello. Uh, my name is Blim Blam the Korblok. Second of all, cards on the table, I’m a murderer that eats babies, and I came to this planet to eat babies. However, I am also carrying a highly infectious disease that I suppose you could call “space AIDS” as you put it, and Rick did chain me up so that he could attempt to cure it. [Beth serves Jerry] At the same time, Rick’s motivation to cure my disease was not to save my life or anyone else’s, but to patent and sell the cure for billions of Blemflarcks. [Jerry serves back] But you know the reason why I ripped my chains out of the wall? [confronts them] And do you know why I’m never coming back to this planet?! BECAUSE THE TWO OF YOU ARE THE FUCKING WORST! You both hate yourselves AND each other! And the idea that it has ANYTHING to do with Rick is laughable. I’d laugh but I’m biologically incapable. That’s how alien I am! And even I’m sitting here listening to the two of you and being like, “WHAT THE FUCK!?!” So good luck with your shitty marriage, and tell Rick I’m sorry he has to deal with EITHER of you. Blim Blam OUT. [mic-drops the device and leaves, only to come back for the device] You know what? I’m taking this.

Episode: “Auto Erotic Assimilation”

Why: There’s nothing worse than when someone else figures out your relationship is over before you. Especially if your relationship is the worst thing they’ve ever witnessed in a galaxy full of terror.   

9)

Jessica’s Friend: I want that docking kind of love. Like penis in the foreskin kind of love. Like warm…

Episode: “Rest and Ricklaxation”

Why: Say this out loud with an aspirational sigh, and tell us you don’t want this kind of love either.

10)

Morty [to Summer]: Well then get your shit together, get it all together, and put it in a backpack, all your shit, so it’s together.
[pause]
And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know. Take it to the shit store and sell it, or put it in the shit museum. I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together.
[pause]
Get your shit together.

Episode: “Big Trouble in Little Sanchez”

Why: Sure, in the episode Morty is wrong, but we’ve all had a moment where we’ve wanted to shake someone until they got their shit together. Morty just finds the most ineloquently profane way to say it.

11)

Morty: That, out there, that’s my grave.
Summer: Wait, what?
Morty: On one of our adventures, Rick and I basically destroyed the whole world, so we bailed on that reality and we came to this one, because in this one, the world wasn’t destroyed, and in this one, we were dead. So we came here and we buried ourselves, and we took their place. And every morning, Summer, I eat breakfast 20 yards away from my own rotting corpse.
Summer: So you’re not my brother?
Morty: I’m better than your brother. I’m a version of your brother you can trust when he says “Don’t run.” Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV.

Episode: “Rixty Minutes”

Why: Fans’ desire to turn Rick and Morty into a philosophy lesson instead of a cartoon is occasionally grating, but when the show has moments like this, you start to understand why. We may not all have access to alternate dimensions, but even in our day to day lives, the reality that we all need to create a reason to exist instead of waiting for the universe to hand us meaning is a haunting thought. If that doesn’t describe you, congratulations on not being haunted by existence. For the rest of us, this is a moment of beautiful comfort.

12)

Butter robot: What is my purpose?
Rick: You pass butter.
Butter robot: Oh my god.
Rick: Yeah, welcome to the club, pal.

Episode: “Something Ricked This Way Comes”

Why: The idea of why anyone exists regularly comes up Rick and Morty, whether characters live to power a battery or pass butter. In four short lines, this scene provides a horrific one-act play about our purpose in the universe. (That emotionally defeated robot is also super relatable).

13)

Birdperson: Morty, do you know what “wubba lubba dub dub” means?
Morty: Uh, that’s just Rick’s stupid nonsense catchphrase.
Birdperson: It’s not nonsense at all. In my people’s tongue it means, “I am in great pain, please help me.”

Episode: “Ricky Business”

Why: Leave it to Birdperson to pull on your heartstrings while revealing the sobering backstory behind a catchphrase printed on a million t-shirts.

14)

Summer: What do you mean you’re having a party? Are some Glip-Glops from the third dimension going to come over and play cards or something?
Rick: “Glip Glop?” You’re lucky a Traflorkian doesn’t hear you say that.
Summer: Is that like their N-word?
Rick: It’s like the N-word and the C-word had a baby and it was raised by all the bad words for Jews.

Episode: “Ricky Business”

Why: Remember folks, don’t riff on another language until you’re positive you know what you’re saying. 


15)

Rick: There’s pros and cons to [burps] every alternate timeline. Fun facts about this one: It’s got giant, telepathic spiders, eleven 9/11s, and the best ice cream in the multiverse!

Episode: “The Ricks Must Be Crazy”

Why: Rick and Morty occasionally dips into cosmic horror, which is fitting given that Cthulu itself appears in the opening credits. As callous as Rick seems here, it’s important for him to be able to find the bright side in any reality he encounters, particularly the ones where awful things have happened. Afterall, if you knew the secrets of the universe and the horrors it held, wouldn’t you risk dealing with telepathic spiders for the best ice cream ever?

Editor’s note: This article is regularly updated for relevance. 

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*First Published: Oct 8, 2017, 7:00 am CDT