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Why won’t Obama bring Zayn back to One Direction?
A definitive timeline of the One Direction conspiracies.
As the controversy mounts, one question remains: Why has President Obama remained silent on this issue?
In the wake of Malik’s departure, turmoil has mounted, as media panic, communication breakdowns, and hair drama have all contributed to rising concerns that Malik might actually be serious about not coming back.
One Direction activists have been busily consulting with leading experts about the crisis, but so far science has not been able to provide a solution.
However, there is new hope for fans, in the form of a growing media campaign targeting President Obama. Through his new official account on Twitter, concerned citizens have been urging the POTUS to take action to restore Malik to his rightful place in the band.
The president has yet to address the issue, possibly due to a wish to avoid diplomatic tensions with Great Britain. (We couldn’t help but notice the president is not following David Cameron on Twitter.)
However, if there’s one thing that Directioners have proven time and again, it’s that they know how to be loud. This may be a time when their voices are needed, particularly since so far the refusal of officials to address the Malik situation gives the impression that the fate of the band is not an issue of global public policy.
This is obviously not the case, as Malik’s departure affects every individual on the planet, whether or not they realize it. We therefore present a look at the past week of growing unrest, as a troubled nation looks to their leader for answers.
The presidency is not fireproof: A timeline of chaos
Day 1: Why did u allow it?
With Zayn’s departure nearing the two-month date, all eyes look to Obama.
Day 2: Just bring him back.
As the number of protesters grow, the demands and calls for accountability from Obama become more specific:
Day 3–4: Are you sad?
As protest fatigue sets in, emotions run high.
ok i’m not playing anymore when is zayn gonna end this zayn tweet depression. i’m almost dying. thanks a lot obama
— ?c? (@compendiary) May 26, 2015
There are also calls to give up the fight and move on:
But for the Directioners on Twitter, the campaign to reach @POTUS is just the beginning.
Day 5: Is Hobama real?
Adding fuel to the protests is the new theory that “Hobama”—the pairing of Harry Styles and Obama—is preventing the president from speaking out.
If the rumors are true and the president is secretly involved in a relationship with Styles, it could create serious problems for the Democrats in 2016—a massive road block that restoring Zayn to the band could help clear.
Day 6–7: The people deserve to know.
As tensions escalate, the protesters lose focus, begin becoming distracted by other concerns—everything from fashion to Drake to other One Direction conspiracies.
But the Directioner force would soon be galvanized by #AskPOTUS—a perfect opportunity to unite, refocus, and regroup their efforts.
Day 8: Will this affect climate change?
The public didn’t hold back when the president took to Twitter for an open Q&A session.
The climate has definitely changed… from one of optimism to skepticism in the wake of Obama’s ending the Q&A without addressing the difficult issue.
right when I was about to ask Obama how he feels about zayn leaving, he stops taking questions :-/ smh
— space bug (@crybabykait) May 28, 2015
The Daily Dot has not reached out to the White House for comment regarding the president’s avoidance of the subject. At press time, the White House has made no official update regarding the state of One Direction.
Let us hope Obama rethinks this policy of silence. His intervention may be One Direction’s—and humanity’s—last hope.
Otherwise, we may be left with this:
Photo via onedirectiobama/Tumblr
Aja Romano is a geek culture reporter and fandom expert. Their reporting at the Daily Dot covered everything from Harry Potter and anime to Tumblr and Gamergate. Romano joined Vox as a staff reporter in 2016.