woman explaining how her hook up refuses to let her sleep in his bed


‘It’s hard to explain… but I get him’: Situationship refuses to let her sleep over despite 4am hang. Why do guys do this?

'Did his wife work nights?'


Jack Alban


Posted on Oct 28, 2023   Updated on Oct 28, 2023, 12:54 pm CDT

If you’ve ever had the hots for somebody and they have the hots for you back, and you guys act on it to an extent, but the dynamic remains undefined—then you might be in a situationship.

Maybe the both of you don’t feel like you’re ready to get into a full blown relationship just yet and all of the trappings, responsibilities, and expectations that come along with it. Maybe the reason why the two of you are so attracted to one another is because you know that there really isn’t any pomp and circumstance or obligations surrounding your time together in the first place.

In fact, there appears to be a rising number of folks who are embracing the fact that they’re in “situationships.” Business Insider wrote that there was a 49 percent increase in Tinder users who wrote in their bios that they are in situationships.

TikTok user Madi Hart (@madihart_soccer) posted a video that seemed to be a relatable piece of content for folks in situationships. In the video, she shared how, despite months of being romantically linked to a person, the man in her situationship never once asked her to sleep over.

She said in the video: “So for a while I was hooking up with this guy and no matter what he would never invite me to sleep over. Like, it was very weird. We were hooking up for several months and we would hang out multiple times a week and hang out until 2AM at his apartment and go on dates, and yet he would just never actually invite me to sleep over.”

Hart said she wondered why he had never offered to let her spend the night but finally decided to drop the hint hardcore one evening after they stayed together until 4am. His response left her speechless, and sparked a litany of different comments from viewers on the platform. Some folks had similar experiences, some couldn’t understand why the man wouldn’t just let her stay the night, and others seemed to think he had a valid reason for not wanting anyone else in his bed with him while he slept.

@madihart_soccer and then he drove me home and ghosted me #situationship #breakup #dating #storytime ♬ original sound – Madi Hart

“Anyway, one night we’re hanging out until like 4am, OK?” Hart continued. “And we have sex multiple times, so you think I’ve earned my spot in his bed for the night—my spot in his inn. So I’m hinting. I’m doing the thing where I’m like, ‘Oh I’m like just so comfy, like I could fall asleep right here.’ And I feel his arms stiffen around me and after a big beat of silence, he goes, ‘Well, you can sleep in the car.’ What a burn, oh my God, I—”

So what was the aftermath of their 4am hangout session? According to Hart, the man “drove [her] home and ghosted [her].” Who says romance is dead?

Commenters who saw the video offered up a bunch of speculative responses as to why the man in her situationship was being so distant and reluctant to let her sleep over at his place. One person thought that he must’ve had a significant other who worked a night shift. “Did his wife work nights?” the user asked.

Someone else said that they simply fall asleep at the person’s house and don’t wait for an invitation or permission: “Are we suppose to ask? I just fall asleep.”

“Relayed this to college aged son for his thoughts: ‘He doesn’t want her to think it’s more than a hookup situation,'” wrote another user.

That’s the part of the story that more than a few people took issue with. “men will tell you to sleep in a car before having a real conversation about wants/boundaries,” one wrote.

Another penned, “Damn! He could’ve at least offered you the couch!”

There were also TikTokers who shared their own situationship anecdotes. “I had one say ‘I need you to go’ like damn lol,” wrote one user. Another wrote, “My situation was opposite i always stayed the night everytime but never gotten a date lol.”

There were folks who thought it could’ve just been a personal preference on the guy’s part. “my sister HATES having anyone around her when she sleeps, maybe it’s something like that ???” one user said.

The Daily Dot reached out to Hart via Instagram DM for further comment.

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*First Published: Oct 28, 2023, 12:53 pm CDT