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‘Why am I not tipping them?’: Woman questions not tipping retail workers who help you while shopping in-store

‘Let me know if I’m being stingy.’

Photo of Stace Fernandez

Stace Fernandez

Person giving tip(l) woman shares reasons to give a tip(r)

Tipping culture has become more confusing than ever—this woman is here to clear some things up.

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Tipping used to be more straightforward. If you went to a restaurant, you tipped your server, typically 15-20%, depending on the quality of the service.

Bartenders, taxis, delivery drivers, valet, and your hairdresser were the rest of the service workers topping out the “who to tip” list.

But nowadays, the protocols have gotten murky as more places—like coffee shops, fast food spots, and even grocery stores—are swiveling their digital checkout screens and prompting you to tip.

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As a customer, it can be jarring, awkward, and slightly panic-inducing. You’re not expecting to leave a tip, but the worker is standing right there watching you (and you’re aware that they’ll immediately know how much you did or didn’t tip).

You just want to finish your transaction, so without thinking, you click the 20% button that’s in the middle. Immediately, you regret that your $10 splurge treat is now $2 more expensive.

If you’re stuck on what to do, this woman’s got some answers for you.

Hot takes on tipping

In a viral video with more than 1.2 million views, content creator Kyara (@kyarainla) shared in what scenarios she does and doesn’t tip.

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Who doesn’t get a tip:

Kyara said if a person is just ringing her up, like at a juice bar, she’s not tipping. She’s especially not tipping at places like fro-yo spots where you have to assemble your food yourself.

Who gets a tip:

If Kyara goes to a restaurant and gets really bad service, she’ll still tip the person.

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“It’s so unfair that you’re getting paid $4 an hour,” she explains. “Honestly, it’s not even my fault. It’s not my fault that your employer decides to pay you $4 an hour and that you have to live off of tips.”

“But you know what, that’s the world we live in today, so you’re still getting a tip. You don’t deserve it, though,” Kyara said, clarifying that she does think everyone deserves to get paid a living wage.

She has a scale for how much she’ll tip based on service quality.

  • 20% if the service was amazing
  • 18% if it was good
  • 15% if it was mediocre or bad
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Drinks are different

But those rules don’t apply to drinks. Kyara said if she gets an $8 cocktail at a sports bar she’s tipping $1. Even if it’s a $20 cocktail on her bill at a nice place, she’s not taking the beverage cost into account for a 20% tip.

Lastly, Kyara always tips delivery drivers. If they follow her instructions and drop her food off at the door, they get a high tip, but if she has to meet them outside, they get a lower tip.

Who should get a tip but doesn’t:

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Kyara argued that it shouldn’t just be food workers who get tipped. (To be clear, they aren’t. For example, beauty service providers and hotel cleaning staff often get tipped.)

She argued that if you go into a clothing retail shop and the salesperson takes the time to style you and help you find sizes and items, they should get tipped.

Final words:

“Let me know if I’m being stingy, this is just what I’ve been doing, and maybe I’m wrong,” Kyara said.

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Why has tipping gotten so confusing?

Like a lot of things, it comes back to the pandemic. During this time people were tipping more than usual and to workers who normally didn’t get tipped in an effort to recognize them as essential workers, NPR reported.

On top of that, checkout technology has made it easier than ever for everyone to ask for a tip if they choose, and many places prefer to depend on tips rather than paying their workers out of pocket.

Commenters share their rules

“If I don’t sit, I don’t tip is my motto lol,” the top comment with more than 22,00 likes read.

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“Why am I tipping BEFORE I get my drink? what if my coffee sucks?” a person pointed out.

“In the clurb we are not all fam! I’m tipping coffee shops, bartenders anyone. Maybe just me but idk,” another wrote.

“20% should be your baseline for a server. If someone goes above and beyond you should be tipping ABOVE,” a commenter stated.

@kyarainla Rules for tipping. Please let me know if I’m doing it wrong. #tip ♬ original sound – Kyara
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The Daily Dot reached out to Kyara for comment via email and TikTok direct message.


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