- Super Smash Bros. Ultimate player’s trans flag removed for being ‘political’ Monday 7:37 PM
- Does Donald Trump Jr. know what American soldiers do? Monday 7:17 PM
- Sophie Turner has a hot take on Arya’s ‘Game of Thrones’ sex scene Monday 6:50 PM
- Parked Tesla Model S bursts into flames in shocking video Monday 3:12 PM
- Fortnite is getting an Avengers Endgame event Monday 2:44 PM
- The living are facing the end of the world in the latest ‘Game of Thrones’ Monday 2:37 PM
- The best Korean beauty toners for your skincare routine Monday 2:33 PM
- Warren’s plan to cancel student debt stimulates the bad-take economy Monday 2:27 PM
- Video shows Easter Bunny punching man on sidewalk Monday 2:09 PM
- The 7 best lubes for when you wanna do butt stuff Monday 2:00 PM
- 11 best sex toys under $35 to blow your mind Monday 1:30 PM
- Twitch streamer inadvertently documents all the times she was sexually, verbally harassed on vacation Monday 1:12 PM
- Raptors coach Nick Nurse becomes a relatable meme Monday 1:12 PM
- Man wears bandage that blends in with his skin tone, and Twitter has all the feelings Monday 12:55 PM
- The 8 best Korean sunscreens to add to your bag Monday 12:15 PM
Small talk about the weather, writ large.
If you didn’t know that the Northeastern U.S. had just been slapped by a feisty snowstorm, you certainly found out when you logged onto Twitter, where people are talking about little else. This being the Internet, the complaints ranged from the sarcastic to the philosophically extreme and scientifically depressing.
Incredible photo of the snow in New York. pic.twitter.com/HSgIGQTr2V
— Jamie McKelvie (@McKelvie) January 3, 2014
If I was given a choice to get rid of racist people or snow, I honestly think I’d get rid of snow. I hate it that much
— Jaymaine Osay (@J_maineyoo) January 3, 2014
Increased global temperatures means there is more water vapor in the air. More water vapor means more snow in the winter.
— Will McAvoy (@WillMcAvoyACN) January 3, 2014
New York City’s new first lady promised that a day off school for her son wouldn’t be all sledding and snowball fights. (Mayor de Blasio himself started the shoveling, but Dante finished the job).
What Dante will be doing if he does not go to school tomorrow. pic.twitter.com/hizkGImhaD
— Chirlane McCray (@Chirlane) January 2, 2014
Anything Dad can do, Dante can do better! @deBlasioNYC son finishes shoveling in BK pic.twitter.com/u8SImDqJCy
— tracie strahan (@tstrahan4NY) January 3, 2014
Overall, there was so much complaining that users started complaining about the complaining itself—followed, inevitably, by the complaining about the complaining about the complaining.
Seriously if you hate the snow that much than MOVE!!! I’m sick of hearing ppl complain about it. It’s F’n OHIO ppl!!!
— Sheila (@sheila0381) January 3, 2014
It’s official, the people complaining about complaining about snow are more annoying than the people complaining about snow
— Ben Duronio (@Ben_Duronio) January 3, 2014
Not everyone was bothered, however.
every one complaining bout the snow and I’m just feet up wit a Capri sun whaddup @MikeTyson
— Biscuito (@OGBiscuit) January 3, 2014
In fact, many went about their business as usual.
— Josh Petri (@joshpetri) January 3, 2014
Today might be a great day to go to the Apple store and get solid service, I feel like hipsters hate the snow.
— Droop (@droopy3) January 3, 2014
If you’re not snowbound yourself at the moment, you might take the opportunity to gloat.
Everyone’s complaining about the snow and I’m over here wishing I had some girl friends to go hit up the beach with #sofloprobz
— His princess♛ (@blessedbasebgf) January 3, 2014
Everyones complaining about snow, but I’m just sitting outside… pic.twitter.com/1lT7wITF9q
— Giordano Silvaggi (@gsilvaggi) January 2, 2014
Or even turn the situation to your advantage.
If you’re complaining about snow on Twitter you should probably move to SF. Especially if you’re cute, tall, and single.
— Korey Kuhl (@koreykuhl) January 3, 2014
But there’s one snow tweet to rule them all—in this there can be no dispute:
There’s cocaine everywhere… wait no it snowed fuck
— Elliott (@EMbleezed) January 2, 2014
Got a better line that that? Save it for the next blizzard.
Photo by Mark Griffith/Flickr
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'