- Southwest Airlines passengers receive free Nintendo Switch consoles and Mario Maker 2 Wednesday 9:10 PM
- The Deplorable Choir drops diss track aimed at 4 congresswomen from Trump’s racist tweets Wednesday 8:09 PM
- Florida city is pushing homeless people out by playing ‘Baby Shark’ on a loop Wednesday 7:27 PM
- A ‘Gossip Girl’ reboot is coming to HBO Max–and fans are not happy with the casting details Wednesday 6:44 PM
- Beto can’t leverage his slave owner ancestry to gain Black voters’ trust Wednesday 5:51 PM
- Oakland to become the third U.S. city to ban facial recognition Wednesday 5:50 PM
- ‘Release the Snyder Cut’ billboards pop up outside of San Diego Comic-Con Wednesday 5:24 PM
- Iggy Azalea and Peppa Pig have an epic Twitter fight Wednesday 4:39 PM
- Should you be concerned about your privacy on FaceApp? Wednesday 4:15 PM
- Google ‘terminates’ Dragonfly, its censored search engine for China Wednesday 3:33 PM
- AOC rips Facebook during Libra House hearing Wednesday 3:14 PM
- The time traveler conversation meme finds its way to TikTok Wednesday 2:52 PM
- Grimes claims she had an ‘experimental’ eye surgery and practices sword fighting Wednesday 2:42 PM
- 70 Border Patrol employees under investigation for posts in secret Facebook group Wednesday 1:45 PM
- Republican’s Operation Safe Return criticized as cover for mass deporation Wednesday 1:42 PM
Small talk about the weather, writ large.
If you didn’t know that the Northeastern U.S. had just been slapped by a feisty snowstorm, you certainly found out when you logged onto Twitter, where people are talking about little else. This being the Internet, the complaints ranged from the sarcastic to the philosophically extreme and scientifically depressing.
Incredible photo of the snow in New York. pic.twitter.com/HSgIGQTr2V
— Jamie McKelvie (@McKelvie) January 3, 2014
If I was given a choice to get rid of racist people or snow, I honestly think I’d get rid of snow. I hate it that much
— Jaymaine Osay (@J_maineyoo) January 3, 2014
Increased global temperatures means there is more water vapor in the air. More water vapor means more snow in the winter.
— Will McAvoy (@WillMcAvoyACN) January 3, 2014
New York City’s new first lady promised that a day off school for her son wouldn’t be all sledding and snowball fights. (Mayor de Blasio himself started the shoveling, but Dante finished the job).
What Dante will be doing if he does not go to school tomorrow. pic.twitter.com/hizkGImhaD
— Chirlane McCray (@Chirlane) January 2, 2014
Anything Dad can do, Dante can do better! @deBlasioNYC son finishes shoveling in BK pic.twitter.com/u8SImDqJCy
— tracie strahan (@tstrahan4NY) January 3, 2014
Overall, there was so much complaining that users started complaining about the complaining itself—followed, inevitably, by the complaining about the complaining about the complaining.
Seriously if you hate the snow that much than MOVE!!! I’m sick of hearing ppl complain about it. It’s F’n OHIO ppl!!!
— Sheila (@sheila0381) January 3, 2014
It’s official, the people complaining about complaining about snow are more annoying than the people complaining about snow
— Ben Duronio (@Ben_Duronio) January 3, 2014
Not everyone was bothered, however.
every one complaining bout the snow and I’m just feet up wit a Capri sun whaddup @MikeTyson
— Biscuito (@OGBiscuit) January 3, 2014
In fact, many went about their business as usual.
— Josh Petri (@joshpetri) January 3, 2014
Today might be a great day to go to the Apple store and get solid service, I feel like hipsters hate the snow.
— Droop (@droopy3) January 3, 2014
If you’re not snowbound yourself at the moment, you might take the opportunity to gloat.
Everyone’s complaining about the snow and I’m over here wishing I had some girl friends to go hit up the beach with #sofloprobz
— His princess♛ (@blessedbasebgf) January 3, 2014
Everyones complaining about snow, but I’m just sitting outside… pic.twitter.com/1lT7wITF9q
— Giordano Silvaggi (@gsilvaggi) January 2, 2014
Or even turn the situation to your advantage.
If you’re complaining about snow on Twitter you should probably move to SF. Especially if you’re cute, tall, and single.
— Korey Kuhl (@koreykuhl) January 3, 2014
But there’s one snow tweet to rule them all—in this there can be no dispute:
There’s cocaine everywhere… wait no it snowed fuck
— Elliott (@EMbleezed) January 2, 2014
Got a better line that that? Save it for the next blizzard.
Photo by Mark Griffith/Flickr
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'