- QAnon-touting congressman sneaks ‘Epstein Didn’t Kill Himself’ into tweets Wednesday 7:12 PM
- Ocasio-Cortez met a famous drag queen–and the right melted down Wednesday 6:09 PM
- Woman says Lyft driver tried to kidnap her Wednesday 5:18 PM
- Debunking the right-wing conspiracy theories from today’s impeachment hearing Wednesday 4:29 PM
- Maroon 5 approves of the latest TikTok trend Wednesday 3:54 PM
- ‘One month left in the decade’ meme wants to know what you’ve accomplished Wednesday 3:53 PM
- Facebook Pay is the latest way to send your friends money Wednesday 3:31 PM
- Diving into ‘The Mandalorian’s first big shocker Wednesday 3:17 PM
- Disney+ will allow password sharing—to an extent Wednesday 1:12 PM
- Black server says manager refused to discipline coworkers who sent racist receipt Wednesday 12:47 PM
- Who is Jonah Hauer-King, Disney’s new Prince Eric? Wednesday 12:47 PM
- Cut Katherine Langford ‘Avengers: Endgame’ scene lands on Disney+ Wednesday 12:22 PM
- Planned Parenthood app to show abortion-seeking users their nearest options Wednesday 12:21 PM
- ‘The Imagineering Story’ offers touching insight into Walt Disney’s vision Wednesday 11:57 AM
- YouTube mom who was charged with child abuse dead at 48 Wednesday 11:39 AM
It’s Bitcoin’s birthday today, and here’s how the Internet is celebrating
It’s been a breakout year for Bitcoin, from wild crashes and spikes to the Silk Road saga and forward-thinking brothels.
It’s been a breakout year for Bitcoin, from wild crashes and spikes to the Silk Road saga and forward-thinking brothels, not to mention continued speculation about the identity of the cryptocurrency’s mysterious inventor, known only as “Satoshi Nakamoto.”
And while many people became familiar with the Bitcoin network over the past few months, it’s actually been in use since Jan. 3, 2009, when the first client debuted.
“There was no functioning exchange yet, and the value of one individual Bitcoin was essentially nothing,” noted Bitcoin Today.
Nakamoto spiked the so-called zero or “genesis” block, which was hard-coded into the software, rendering it unusable. Subsequent blocks in the chain, unlike the genesis, were made publicly available for mining on Jan. 3, as described in an email blast. For the true Bitcoin fanatic, this makes more sense as a birthdate than Nov. 1, 2008, when Nakamoto released his white paper outlining the system; that would be the “date of conception.”
Last year, shortly after Bitcoin turned four, one of the very earliest miners, Hal Finney, shared his memories of the currency’s birth. At first, he said, he grabbed Nakamoto’s software almost for the novelty of it—others in the cryptography field were skeptical. Later, when he was diagnosed with ALS and Bitcoin surged in value, he was happy to realize he could leave his children a digital inheritance.
To mark the occasion this time around, a few Hawaii-based Redditors are having a party, featuring a “Bitcoin raffle with prizes from sponsors” and even a “Bitcoin faucet,” which amounts to—you guessed it—“free Bitcoins!” (Unfortunately, the airlines that would get you there still expect payment in U.S. dollars.)
— Bitcoin Hawaii (@BitcoinHawaii) December 27, 2013
Elsewhere, traders simply offered admiring congratulations, and some made rosy predictions for the future.
— Martijn Wismeijer (@twiet) January 3, 2014
— Coyote WallStreet™ (@coyotewallst) January 3, 2014
☆。★。☆。★ 。☆ 。☆。☆ ★。＼｜／。★ Happy Birthday #Bitcoin ★。／｜＼ °★ 。☆。 。° ☆。 ☆。 ★。☆ °★
— Meth(฿)Crypto (@01101O10) January 3, 2014
Happy 5th Birthday @Bitcoin you’re my fucking nigga
— Josiah (@xtavie) January 3, 2014
Not everyone was quite so effusive, however.
Happy birthday bitcoin! 5 years old, used by people who think and act like 5-year-olds, to buy illicit pictures of 5-year-olds
— Butt Coin (@ButtCoin) January 3, 2014
In a similar vein, because it wouldn’t be Reddit without pedophile humor, this happened:
Oh, well—maturity doesn’t come all at once.
Illustration by Jason Reed
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'