Today, in cities across the world, disgruntled white supremacists took to the streets to protest… things. And just as predictably, the rest of us took to the Internet to mock them relentlessly.
The word “privilege” is a polarizing one in today’s Internet, when “men’s rights activists” and “social justice warriors” face off constantly. But let’s face it: We all know that straight, cisgendered white dudes have it better than everyone else. And if you’re, well, everyone else, it’s good sometimes to mock the pain of the men who sit at the top of the socioeconomic food chain. After all, if we didn’t, we’d probably cry.
You’ve worked hard to get where you are. (And it’s still not as far as that one smug white guy who’s ahead of you.) So take a moment to sit back and enjoy some of our favorite #whitemenprotestsigns, because remember, this a real sign made by men who really exist:
Photo via Stormfront
Photo via Twitter
Yes, that is a white supremacist bagpipe player. We have passed into a realm where things are no longer ironic. And we have no idea if tweets like these are serious or not:
Why does everything have to be about race?! #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns
— Q’V (@NickQChan) March 15, 2014
#WhiteManMarchProtestSigns definitely not racist. If i made #BlackManMarchProtestSigns will I be? You’re all stereotyping, hypocrites.
— Rini (@Rini666LoL) March 15, 2014
GIF via Giphy
#WhiteManMarchProtestSigns Abortion should b illegal so we can assure survival of white race (this was actually said to me)
— Ann Onymous (@Annie_Onymous) March 15, 2014
Gif via Giphy
Right, then. As a reminder before we proceed, making fun of white dudes is okay because when you make fun of white dudes, no one gets hurt, sexually assaulted, or killed as a result of a facet of their identity that they can’t change. At worst, some white dude somewhere gets offended and Mel Gibson makes another movie.
Please keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle.
But not under a hoodie, because we all know how that could turn out.
Here are some signs that are not real, but could be. Luckily, these are just sarcastic examples to add to the mocking of the real ones seen above.
What do we want? A black friend. When do we want it? When we’re having a party #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns
— Wayne Kline (@WayneKlineHere) March 15, 2014
Just Another Thousand Years & Then It’s Your Turn. PROMISE!!! #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns
— Britton Van Horn (@BrittonVanHorn) March 15, 2014
#WhiteManMarchProtestSigns: No matter if Gay, Trans, whatever, we are all the same.
— CrazyLarry (@Skyhawk442) March 15, 2014
#WhiteManMarchProtestSigns ……this picture says it all. pic.twitter.com/MtEuBWtioT
— Brenton Ebron (@HypemanFresco) March 15, 2014
who will my son look up to after what you did to joe paterno, woody allen and roman polanski? #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns
— dark triad tweeter (@bIoach) March 15, 2014
It’s called the WHITE House for a reason! #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns
— Cosmo Politan (@SharpCee) March 15, 2014
I am getting sick of this Tell the government to quit hiding Elvis #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns
— Anthony Williams (@ADoubo24) March 15, 2014
I wish Black people would take some personal responsibility while I blame all my problems on President Obama #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns
— GrooveSDC (@GrooveSDC) March 15, 2014
We Don’t Die—We Gentrify! #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns #WhiteManMarch
— Black Canseco (@BlackCanseco) March 15, 2014
Affirmative Action is Wrong. Hire the most qualified applicant that’s known my family for years, he’s a nice boy #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns
— Kim (@legallyfond) March 15, 2014
Is the BACK of the bus really that terrible? #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns
— Damon Howell (@ReverendHexar) March 15, 2014
But don’t think that white dudes aren’t artistic souls beneath all that political protesting:
We’re Here, We Love Micro Beer, Get Used To It! #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns
— Daniel Humbarger (@humbargerdaniel) March 15, 2014
SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION IS THE BEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME #whitemanmarchprotestsigns
— Liam Drain (@liamadrain) March 15, 2014
LESS R. KELLY, MORE KELLY CLARKSON (my wife made my sign) #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns
— Cocaine Dangerous (@intrepid_heroin) March 15, 2014
Just look at all this attention to the media arts:
Bring Back Seinfeld! #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns
— Mr. Kevin Sullivan (@HeyImKevinSully) March 15, 2014
BRING BACK ‘FRASIER’ #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns
— Abe Lincoln (@Emancipate_this) March 15, 2014
BRING BACK “MAD ABOUT YOU” #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns
— Tempus Fugit (@Tempus_Fugit) March 15, 2014
Most accurate one I’ve seen today. RT @Ragnell: Only 97% of all television leads are White Men. We demand more! #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns
— NoSoy™ (@Seximist) March 15, 2014
Who says white dudes aren’t cultured?
#WhiteManMarchProtestSigns I Only Like 2 Races: White & Nascar
— Chad Opitz (@chadopitz) March 15, 2014
Who says white dudes aren’t—aren’t… ok, we have no idea:
#WhiteManMarchProtestSigns I want to lather my nude body in blended fruit as a horse massages me and whispers ‘who’s a good boy’ into my ear
— shinji ikari fanclub (@kurt_vonnuggets) March 15, 2014
No matter what comes of the street protests from the white supremacist community Stormfront and their various appalling counterparts, today white men did prove one important thing to the rest of the world:
They know how to laugh at themselves.
I would make a joke about #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns but seriously, #WhiteManMarchProtestSigns is all the joke you need
— will brooker (@willbrooker) March 15, 2014
Photo via Twitter