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This imagined White House press briefing is more honest than the real thing
Watching a White House press briefing with press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders can sometimes feel like a dark parody until you remember we’re actually living in a political dystopia. So when it comes to an actual parody of a briefing with Sanders, it’s funny because it’s so darn close to the truth.
Comedian Keaton Patti wrote such a parody, imagining how an artificially intelligent bot would handle writing a script for a Sanders-style press briefing in “The Whitest House.” The result, posted to Twitter, is grim and hilarious.
I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of White House Press Briefings and then asked it to write a White House Press Briefing of its own. Here is the first page. pic.twitter.com/80jUFfZ8gv— Keaton Patti (@KeatonPatti) August 6, 2018
The scene begins with Sanders storming in and going, “I don’t actually wish you a good afternoon and the President hates you. Questions?” It ends with her holding a “glowing skull” (perhaps it’s something like this glowing orb) for which Sanders doesn’t provide an explanation even as it gets increasingly brighter.
There are plenty of other zingers loaded into the two-page script, including Sanders referring to journalists (who keep raising their hands because that’s “all they know”) as “news pigs.” In more ways than one, the parody of the briefing feels more honest than the real thing.
you sure a bot wrote this and not Sanders herself?— Brian Justice (@AnotherBodega) August 6, 2018
Patti’s imagining of a bot-created Olive Garden commercial—wherein the waitress offers “lasagna wings” and “unlimited stick,” which are both things I want to eat—went viral in June.
Kris Seavers is the Evening Editor for the Daily Dot, where she covers breaking news, politics, and LGBTQ issues. Her work has appeared in Central Texas publications, including Austin Monthly and San Antonio Magazine, and on NPR.