A hilarious campaign-debt relief effort to offset “A Fundamental and Profound Lack of Cash” or something.
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Perpetually rich politician Newt Gingrich is out of the GOP race for president of the United States. He’s also out of money.
The former Speaker of the House announced Wednesday that he was suspending his campaign for presidency, leaving behind a $4 million debt accrued through the financing of private jets, advertising, consultants, and probably a donut or two.
Shortly after the announcement, Gingrich launched a Kickstarter campaign to help offset the Pennsylvania native’s mounting debt. “A campaign-debt relief effort,” he called it, created to kickstart “A Fundamental and Profound Lack of Cash.”
The campaign’s messaging was swift and to the point:
No one said saving America was going to be easy. Or cheap. Or successful. Please do whatever you must to help – clean toilets, work for Fannie Mae, anything. It’s that important.
With 30 days left in the campaign, Gingrich has failed to corral any true financial backers (sound familiar?). But he’s pledged to continue on steadfast and believes he’ll emerge victorious thanks to a myriad of reward options that include “One night inside Newt’s head AND a signed photo of Newt’s head” ($1.1 million), getting your name on a hall in Newt’s Presidential Library ($4 million), and a three-bedroom moon-colony apartment and copy of Newt’s book ($10 million).
The Daily Dot tried to put in $25,000 to have Gingrich’s wife Callista smile at us for three hours, but our attempts were thwarted when the site told us that it was no longer able to accept donations.
“Instead, we encourage you to throw your full support behind burning your money,” the pledge page wrote.
Wait, that’s fishy. We clicked through to the next step.
Oh, The Daily Show. Right. Of course. Jon Stewart, you wily vet.
Photo via MarioPerni
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