Dick Cheney’s old heart is dead! Long live Dick Cheney’s new heart!


Two parody accounts chronicled the former vice president’s heart transplant, but only one survived the operation. 

The beat goes on for Dick Cheney.

The former vice president received a heart transplant Saturday, and two parody accounts, @CheneysNewHeart and @cheneysoldheart, were along for the ride, making fun of the aging politician at every turn.

“I’m feeling pretty good. Anyone want to go hunt some birds?” tweeted @CheneysNewHeart Saturday. “I have to get some dinner … thinking about fried chicken, mac and cheese, potaotes [sic] and gravy, just the usual for the Dick.”

The Cheney-inspired Twitter accounts follow in a long line of political parodies created in response to breaking news. Many of the accounts parody actual people, like the women who accused businessman Herman Cain of sexually harassing them, while others try to delve inside the minds of these complicated politicians. And like @cheneysoldheart, many of them don’t last.

In a coincidental turn of events, the parody account @cheneysoldheart was suspended sometime Sunday afternoon for an unknown reason. But thanks to Topsy, 49 of its hilarious tweets have been preserved:

“I may lack Dick’s body, but I still have the will to achieve my nefarious ends. @CheneysNewHeart will not stop my unending EVIL.”

“The blood remaining in me has finally turned to liquid. WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS?! Blood must ALWAYS run icy cold!”

“Trying to look on the bright side. Now I can watch The Human Centipede as much as I want. Dick always said it was too gross for him.”

The 71-year-old politician is currently recovering at a Northern Virginia hospital. For its own sake, @CheneysNewHeart hopes that Cheney has many more years to go.

But with Republicans still fighting over who should be their front runner this fall, the parody account isn’t very confident.

“I miss @CheneysOldHeart,” tweeted the new account. “On the upside, #GOP, #teaparty, and #tcot [top conservatives on Twitter] will explode with Dick’s new liberal heart.”

Illustration from DonkeyHotey

Now I’m worried my grandmother will think Twitter’s a good idea
This geriatric comedian has 99 problems but Twitter ain't one. 
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