- Man flamed after admitting he called police on Target employee over a toothbrush Today 9:10 AM
- Netflix’s ‘Vivir Dos Veces’ searches for a last chance at first love Today 8:00 AM
- Camila Cabello must do more about her racist history Today 6:00 AM
- Instagram and Facebook are reportedly blocking queer ads Friday 8:58 PM
- Review: Tyler Perry’s ‘A Fall From Grace’ is both nonsensical and utterly predictable Friday 6:48 PM
- Is Hulu censoring the Iran episode of Anthony Bourdain’s ‘Parts Unknown’? Friday 6:05 PM
- Trump admin celebrates Michelle Obama’s birthday by proposing rollback of her signature initiative Friday 4:01 PM
- TSA apologizes after agent grabs indigenous woman’s braids, says ‘giddyup’ Friday 3:28 PM
- Blue Bell ice cream licker pleads guilty Friday 2:54 PM
- 7 fortune-telling sites for when you’re bored Friday 2:21 PM
- Governor bans sex puns on free condom wrappers Friday 2:16 PM
- Is Justin Bieber’s ‘Yummy’ video secretly about Pizzagate? Friday 1:01 PM
- Woah Vicky rips out her hair in botched cultural appropriation attempt Friday 12:30 PM
- Here’s an exclusive look at ‘Weathering With You’ Friday 11:57 AM
- TikTok dudes are dipping their balls in soy sauce for ‘science’ Friday 11:49 AM
CIA offers to help Agents Mulder and Scully prove the existence of UFOs
The truth is out there in a bunch of PDFs.
Is the U.S. government concealing evidence of extraterrestrial visitors to the planet Earth? Of course they are. Why else would the CIA suddenly urge us to read hundreds of “classified documents” proving it? Plausible deniability. Alien technology, as we’re all aware, is responsible for the age-regression technology used to keep Nikola Tesla—
Sorry, wrong meeting.
Since the late 1970s, the Central Intelligence Agency has released hundreds of documents in relation to the existence of unidentified flying objects (UFOs). Marking the return of the X-Files, the agency curated a selection of files the intrepid FBI duo, Dana Scully and Fox Mulder, would “love to get [their] hands on.”
Here are a few reports detailing UFO sightings across the world in 1952, which you’d likely find scattered in an abysmal pile on Agent Mulder’s basement-office floor. You’d think someone with photographic memory would be a little more organized—but you’d be wrong.
Far less prone to flights of fancy, Agent Scully’s keenly analytical mind isn’t going to be convinced by a handful of grainy photos. Here instead we have a collection of official scientific and governmental memorandums on the existence of UFOs (though none will concede it’s proof of an advanced, otherworldly species.)
According to the CIA, Scully might use these documents “to prove there is a scientific explanation for UFO sightings.”
Thousands of UFO sightings are reported around the world each year. They can’t all be weather balloons. No, clearly there is a global conspiracy to conceal the existence of extraterrestrials at the highest levels of power. Nice try, CIA.
The truth is out there. But first you have to want to believe.
Illustration via Max Fleishman
Dell Cameron was a reporter at the Daily Dot who covered security and politics. In 2015, he revealed the existence of an American hacker on the U.S. government's terrorist watchlist. He is a co-author of the Sabu Files, an award-nominated investigation into the FBI's use of cyber-informants. He became a staff writer at Gizmodo in 2017.